Is my mom cheating on my dad? Or could it possibly be something else? And what should I do?

Question

For about two or so years, my mom has been going out with unknown people doing unknown things. My dad actually tried to ask her what it was after the first month she started but she said that she didn't want to talk about it. After that confrontation, my dad started asking me and my brother every single time my mom went out. Of course she never tells us anything, so we tell him we don't know. whenever my mom goes out, she usually comes home the next day or somewhere in the middle of the night when everyone is already asleep. Although she hasn't been going out as much, it still happens about once a week, and I feel like she is doing something fishy, but I know asking her won't do any good. My dad had actually confronted her again last night and she got really mad and says "if you think I'm cheating, I am not. That is a ridiculous accusation and if my family( she has a lot of brothers and sisters living in a foreign country) heard this they would get very angry." None of us have any real proof, so we don't want to destroy everything based on accusations.

Some things you should know that me and my brother have observed over the years:

My mom has explicitly stated to my dad, brother, and me to never ever look in her phone or browse through the text messages. She is very secretive when she goes out, and the details sound vague and usually contradictory. She also has conversations with unknown people/person on her phone and hangs up when she sees anyone approaching.

Some things you should know that me and my brother have observed over the years:

My mom has explicitly stated to my dad, brother, and me to never ever look in her phone or browse through the text messages. She is very secretive when she goes out, and the details sound vague and usually contradictory. She also has conversations with unknown people/person on her phone and hangs up when she sees anyone approaching.

rac · Accepted Answer

She obviously has a secret second life outside of the family.  Why she is being so secretive is unknown.  It could be sexual, it could be some form of secret employment or anonymous charity she is performing.  Since she won't talk about it you only have two choices.  Do you trust her enough to let her work out her own secrets?  If you don't, then how much secrecy can you tolerate before your trust is eroded and the marriage and family irreparably torn apart?  Perhaps you could present her with this two part conundrum and ultimatum.  Either come clean about your secret life or you will lose your family.  Which does she prefer?
Best wishes.  Your in a bad situation.

Margaret A · Answer

the best thing you can do is tell your dad, yes your mum is acting in a suspicious manner BUT this has nothing to do with you. tell him it is their business and if he doesn't trust her then find a way of finding out what she is getting up to but leave you both out of it. it is obviously making you uncomfortable and it is their marriage not yours. if he has any sense he will follow her when she next goes out or ask a friend to. she isn't going to tell him outright so what else can he do, that or look on her phone.

maggie · Answer

I say you or your dad or someone should follow her one day and see where she's going. Simple as that. But be careful because it could be something more serious. Maybe the person she is meeting with is dangerous so be careful.

? · Answer

Your mother is cheating on your father. Guaranteed.

Be prepared for your father to grow tired of this game and divorce your mother. Which will force you to either live with him or her. I would chose your father if I were you. He's a better parent

Pearl L · Answer

theres no way of knowing unless she tells you, she might be hiding something and maybe doing something illegal

Danijela · Answer

Cheating. ..all is so clear

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Is my mom cheating on my dad? Or could it possibly be something else? And what should I do?

6 Answers