I've discovered a HORRIBLE secret of my sister's fiance. Should I tell my parents? (Continued, LolAtYou pls READ)?

You should DEFINITELY tell your parents because you love your sister and you care about her well being more than anyone else. You dont want to later regret not telling your parents and something bad happens her.Dont let fear stop you. The worst thing you can do to your sister is stay silent. When your parent talk to your sister and her boyfriend make sure that they dont say your name once. I really hope things get better for your family. The only thing you can do right now is pray. ( Maybe you should sleepover at thier house one day even though that sounds really weird or find some way to spend time with them and get to know them. So that you can see how their behavior is not around family.)I know you're just being a protective sister like you should so dont feel guilty about going thorough her email. All of these things that your sister is doing are signs of someone going through abuse. Get help

No, people on here are not being rude to you. You violated your sister's and her fiance's privacy and you had no business doing that. They are working on the problem in the correct way by going to counseling. If your sister looks downtrodden, it's because she's worried about her fiance. They may have already told your parents, but if not, it's certainly not your place to do so. This kind of information is not to be shared with anyone, so keep your nosy little mouth shut about it. you've already done enough damage by being a snoop. If your sister finds out what you've done, she will have a hard time trusting you. Think about that.

No you don't tell your parents. This is really none of your business. If he was molested, that is likely a very traumatic and painful thing that I'm pretty sure he doesn't want the world to know. You violated his privacy by rummaging through things and it would be a real shame if your sister and your family wrote him off for this. How is this somehow his defect? Could he help what happened to him? I'll tell you something - if YOU were raped, you would likely have some intimacy problems too (ie. never wanting to have a man touch you sexually again). Try and put yourself in his shoes.

You shouldn't tell your parents. They might be going for counseling for her boyfriend and not that your sister was raped. How would she be raped by her boyfriend if the guy won't even kiss her or be affectionate around her? She's going there for him. She's been with him for years as you say and she knows everything there is to know about him so maybe she got him to finally talk about the abuse he had endure when he was younger so they'll solve their intimacy issues.

If he has no contact with his family it means that the person who abused him was someone of his family and that's why he doesn't want any contact with them because he'll be next to the person who did all those horrible things to him.

It's his secret, not yours. You have no business telling your parents about this, and the fact that you don't seem to understand that is probably why you get some negative answers. This is between your sister and the boyfriend, and they are obviously working a lot on this together. If you're worried about your sister seeming more withdrawn then TALK to her and ask if she's okay, it might be something totally different that is bugging her.

Also, calling a victim of abuse "peculiar" because he's uncomfortable with PDA isn't very understanding of you, just saying.

My sister was into some similar trouble because of her boyfriend years ago. The family knew about it, but we didn't want to cause rifts, so we just kept her kids as often as possible (including going over and taking them without her consent when the oldest would call us and tell us the power was off and there was no food in the cabinets). It went on for two years before the oldest ran away, which led to the police getting involved. After probation fees (yes, they do exist, i once had to pay $750 in probation fees for "allowing one to violate Georgia law," meaning i had let someone drive my car after taking them on their word that they had their license) and drug & parenting classes, and a lot of introspection, she is now a better person than i am, with a stable home life, a great job, and she's raising her kids to be good citizens. But this was after horrible stuff happened to her and those kids that we didn't know about, in addition to what we were aware of. If we had just done something when we first knew there was a problem, all of that wouldn't have happened. My point is that whether or not you hurt her feelings doesn't matter. You need to do something, not just for your family, but for her as well. Maybe one day she'll straighten out, maybe she won't. But as long as she's hurting your family, and you can do something about it, you're just as much in the wrong as she is. And on a selfish note, that guilt sticks with you the rest of your life. I would go with your plan of speaking with the older siblings. Get their advice, and get them to help you get an intervention together. There are even professionals you can get involved, i would recommend calling the narcotic help lines in your area for phone numbers. The people they will connect you with have been through similar experiences, many having dark pasts of their own they've chosen to use to help people. I would avoid getting your mother involved unless it's absolutely necissary, but i would recommend bringing your father in on it. Heart surgery is much more affected by stress than diabetes, and while high blood pressure is a problem, it will still be a lot more stressful if this comes into the light with the authorities explaining to him what's been going on rather than his own family. I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this, and i hope one day your sister impresses you the way mine has impressed me.

I understand why you've had a look around and I know you're just trying to help. Unfortunately, telling you parents or anyone could definitely make the situation worse or/and awkward. Just pretend you never saw it; some things are best not to know about.

Sweetie this is not good. First of all you invaded someone's personal space and privacy. Hell I feel violated and I don't even know you. You have divulged information to us and I feel horrible for this fella and your sister. Grant it, she's your sister and you are in the protection mode, but darn, to keep on snooping, you are just down right nosey. If your sister wants to tell you, let her tell you. I'm sure she knows everything your finding out. The old saying is that signifying is worst than stealing, so stop it.

It's not your problem, not your stuff to gossip about. Besides the invasion of privacy you could cause any number of other problems. People with very stressful histories like this do not need or want other people getting involved without their knowledge, or permission. Your sister's fiance has already suffered severe abuse. He won't want the same helplessness with someone going behind them and telling tales.

This is their secret and you really overstepped your mark here, so if you shoot your mouth off you will be causing heart ache for your sister who will hate you forever for doing a bad thing. If your sister wants to tell her parents she will, all of this is her choice and not yours. If you really want to help and if you really love your sister then go and spend time with her, go out for a coffee or ask her to come shopping, do girly stuff if you can with her. Make sure you see her more often, if she feels you care she may even take you into her confidence. Do what real sisters do, and just be there for her. This is not your drama, and you should not make trouble, because it will bring it all back to you, no matter what the motive is.