How to deal with my one year old's "temper" tantrums?

Two words: Empathic Parenting. http://empathicparenting.org/

If you "tap" your child as a form of discipline, and your child laughs, is that actually effective? Is she learning what you need her to learn when you do that? Does she learn hitting is wrong every time she gets hit?

There are 6 words that your child needs to learn starting at this age. Yes, No, Hot, Cold, Stop, Wait.

Some will be easier to teach than others, but once your child understands those words, your life will get a lot easier. Start with the easiest word, cold. Every time you give your child something cold, say, It's Cold! When the weather is bad, take her outside so she can feel the cold wind and the cold snow. For hot, give her food that is too hot to eat and say, It's Hot! When she touches the food it will shock her how warm it is and she will learn that word very fast. (my daughter sure did.)

To teach her wait, prepare hot food she can see, but don't give it to her. Say, Wait, it's Hot! Since she'll know what hot means already, she'll be more apt to wait for it.Every time you have something for her, hold it in your hand, say Wait, make her wait 15 seconds, then give it to her and thank her for waiting. Try to extend that time when you can as she gets better.

Teach the difference between No and Stop. No is a disagreement. When you offer your child food or a toy she doesn't want, shake your head no as you say the word no in your normal voice. Stop is a command and used for safety reasons. When your child climbs on stuff, you very sharply bark out Stop! Followed by We don't do that, or Not for you! and move your child away.

Teach yes by nodding your head yes every time you know your child wants something. Yes you want this cookie, for example.

Soon, your child will be able to nod yes or shake no if you do it often enough to teach her. Same with hot and cold. Stop and wait will take a lot more time to teach, but it's all about repetition.

Once your child knows these words, tantrums will reduce significantly since most tantrums are over Food, Toys, Weather, and Sleep. Most tantrums are a miscommunication. Your toddler feels like you don't understand, gets into a tizzy about it and then really can't hear you.

Yo've brought up several things here.

1. Tantrums are normal. When she screams at home do not give in. Your behavior drives her behavior. She is frustrated and can't verbalize it, so she screams. If you want her to stop, tell her in a calm voice that you can't help her if she screams. Then sit down and ignore her (while keeping an eye on her of course) or put her in a crib or playpen. Once she realizes that her method isn't effective she will stop.

2. I think it is find to give a hand a light slap to get her attention, not hard enough to actually hurt. This is n't a punishment, but to get her baby mind to realize what you are saying is important.

3. If she hits other kids at the park or whatever, I suggest that to do the immediate removal plan. This is hard on you but it does work. In a calm voice, explain that hitting other kids is wrong and that if she does it, you will have to leave. If she does, swoop her up ASAP and leave immediately. You don't need to even say anything to her. You may have to do this several times, but she will make the connection that if she hits she ends up at home in her crib.

Most kids go through this phase and grow out of it. Don't stress about it.

My only advice is to ignore it. Let her have her tantrum and you go about your day.

As for trying to climb things that aren't safe, maybe lift her up and say "This is an x, it's mommys. You can look when mommy helps you but we don't touch" A lot of the time they just want to see things and when you simply say No, they take matters into their own hands. If you show them and explain that it's yours and it's not a toy but they can see it if they ask, that usually ends their curiosity on that particular object.

My baby is the same age and has the same issue. I've started sitting him in his pack n play right away and leave the room when he throws a tantrum. So far its cut down it a LOT. as soon as he's quiet I take him out.

Yeah, this is type of behaviour is pretty common starting around 1. I call it the beginning of the willfulness stage, which generally lasts till age 4. With toddlers, I use three different discipline techniques with naughty behaviour.

Technique I: Instant Time-Out

I use this technique for physical lashing out: hitting, kicking, biting, grabbing, pinching, scratching, etc. When Baby displays any of these behaviours, instantly remove her from the situation and put her in a neutral spot: a chair, corner, or step will do. She should be put in time out within seconds of the offense. As you place her in time out, tell her in a low, authoritative voice (no yelling) that she is in time out for X, and that she must stay there until you tell her she can leave. As soon as you put her in time out, time 1 minute on your watch or use a stop watch or kitchen timer. If she gets up prematurely, put her back without giving her any vocal or eye contact, and start the minute over again. Continue until she sits for a whole minute. Once her time is over, go to her and gently explain why she was put in time out. Then, if she can say 'sorry', have her do so (although, most 1-year-old's are able to, and that's okay), tell her you forgive her, and give her a hug and kiss. Then, move on. At first, you may spend a long time putting her in time out and replacing her there, but if you remain consistent, she will get the message.

Technique II: Warnings before Time-Out

I use this technique for naughty behaviour that isn't causing physical harm to another. This gives Baby the chance to amend her behaviour and learn that it's naughty before being punished. The warning technique operates on a 3-strike system. The first time Baby does something you'd prefer her not to do, go to her, look her in the eye, and firmly tell her that she must no do that; then, redirect her to another acceptable activity. If Baby repeats the behaviour, go to her again with your low, firm voice, and tell her that she must not do that, and if she does it again, she will go in time out. If she again disobeys, then put her in time-out, following the same principals as described above.

Technique III: Time-In

I use this when Baby is out of control; hysterical, over excited, repeating naughty behaviour within a close time frame, you get the idea. To do a time in, first hold Baby, either in your arms or in the ergo, and involve her in a soothing activity, such as reading, singing, talking gently to her, or listening to music. While you do this, you can gently sway, rock, or dance with her. Continue until Baby calms down; anywhere from 5-20 minutes. The idea behind a time-in, is that Baby doesn't have the capability to self-control once she's beyond a certain emotional threshold, so that's when you must step in for her, and help her calm down.

Lastly, if she screams when she doesn't get her way, just ignore it - even if you're in public. Never give Baby something she wants unless she's exhibiting acceptable behaviour. By giving into her when she screams, you're teaching her to scream to get what she wants. On the other hand, by waiting until she's calm and nice before giving her something she'd like, you teach her that good thin. So, if she screams to get out of her highchair, don't let her out until she calms down. If she screams for seconds at supper, don't give her any. On the other hand, shower her with praise when she sits quietly or doesn't make a fuss. Find ways to praise her for good behaviour. Did she get into the buggy obediently? Did she get through a shopping trip without screaming? Did she gently stroke your cheek? Did she point and babble nicely (or use sign language if she knows any) to ask for food? All reasons to praise. Parenting rule of thumb: Praise 10x more than you correct; praise in public, correct in private.

See these links. The article may have some information, if simple distraction does not work. Take her to a different place and give her a toy. Tickle her, laugh with her, make a funny face and distract from what is actually going on. Be sure she is prepared for changes, and you talk to her, so she does not feel things are taken from her, or changes are made without her knowing. Talk through things so she knows what is going on, and things are not a big surprise. A toddler may have trouble understanding things, or have trouble with control of their environment.

-In 10 minutes we will have lunch. Then, the toys can take a little nap and we can eat nummy macaroni and cheese. Nappy time toys, time for macaroni and cheese.

Be sure you help her language skills by reading picture word dictionaries with her. Also, help her understand how to get her thoughts across by verbalizing what you and she are doing:

-Let's have some juice. Umm. . . good juice.

-Want to play with dolls? I like dolls, do you like dolls?

-Let's go for a ride in the car. Cars are big and go vrmmm!

-Time to get dressed. Let's put your pretty dress on. What a pretty dress.

-What a cute kitty. I like cute kitties!

As you see, there are plenty of opportunities go get thoughts across that a toddler may need to express in some way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRDpcWZUEiU&feature...

Dr. Doris Rapp #2:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzvIq8WISUo

GLUTEN INTOLERENCE ARTICLE:

http://www.anchoragepress.com/news/the-gluten-made...

http://www.anchoragepress.com/news/gluten-made-her...