How is '50 Shades of Grey' abusive?

All of these answers here are wrong and ignorant. Let me just start out by saying that ***safe, sane, and consensual BDSM is not abusive.***

50 Shades is abusive because of the way that the main guy in the book behaves, treats the girl, and how he makes her feel.

He forcefully puts her in the position in which she is mentally, emotionally, and even physically dependent on him. Her self-worth hits lower than rock bottom when she is around him and the only time she thinks she is worthy is when he tells her she is. She doesn't have positive feelings about herself unless they are confirmed by Grey, i.e. she feels the need to be validated by him. This goes beyond the limits of a submissive partner, and is an absolute clear sign of abuse; the stripping of one's entire sense of self-worth.

This one should be an obvious one, something your mother may have and should have told you about: She is constantly pressured to give him things that she doesn't want to give or is not comfortable with. He wants and expects too much from her, and she is not ready or willing. Pretty much their whole relationship is based on trying to find ways around giving him what he wants, and him refusing to bend on his expectations. He's the type that simply doesn't take no for an answer.

He makes her sign a contract in which some of its statements say: she can only leave him under pre-made contract-specified circumstances, and if she wants to leave him for any other reason then she has to ask him first; she cannot touch him; she is not allowed to make eye contact with him until he specifically orders her to do so, and she is obligated to keep her eyes on the ground and remain quiet when she is in his presence; she is obligated to meet with a pre-arranged personal trainer 4 times a week; etc etc etc.

He disregards her hesitation and unwillingness because she already signed said contract. So what does that mean? She is "legally" prohibited from changing her mind and saying no.

There is also a nondisclosure agreement he makes her sign which prohibits her from telling anybody - family or friends - about him or even just vaguely talking about him whatsoever.

The levels of his jealousy alone are strong traits of an abusive partner, not to mention the lengths he goes to brutally control her entire life.

After BUYING the company at which she works, he makes security guards follow her around when he's not there.

He is overbearingly dependent on her too. One instance is when she tells him she needs space when she visits her mom, and he travels a million miles to be with her anyway.

He bruises her body to punish her and make her stop sunbathing topless.

He demands her to surrender herself to him "in all things" and make him the most important thing in her life.

He pressures her for sex and when she clearly states that she doesn't want it, he continues to force himself on her until she gives in. (I think there's a four letter word for that, it might rhyme with the name of a fruit?)

He gets her so drunk that she is not capable of consenting to sex.

"Twitching palm"? Whenever he refers to that, he is basically saying "You're pissing me off Ana and I really want to hit/punch/slap you right now"

He threatens to take her to the boat house at his parent's house and beat her because he's angry.

Does anyone remember that thing he said about his unborn daughter? Something along the lines of "She must like sex already."

Basically he does things to her - mental and physical manipulation - to scare her into obeying him. That's a total keeper, right?

Do you need more reasons?

The guy in the movie controls every aspect of the woman's life. He treats her like a possession.

The S&M stuff is just kinky sex. The thing that people complain about is the way he controls her, and is emotionally abusive.

It's premise is S&M.

well, aside from the rough sex that he enjoys........he admits in the book at one point that he gets off on beating the sh*t out of little brown haired girls.....(because he's taking his anger out on his mother.....who died and left him) .........and Anna looks like his mother. Creepy enough right there..........

but he's also a control freak......and gives her a phone....( so he can track her every move)...... but that ends up actually saving her life later on, and that life of his sister..............sooooooooooo, ya know.......

and besides, she willingly agrees to it all.......and even signs a contract allowing it.

i don't think its abusive. the guy is immature and domineering. ex, he finds out where the girl works and buys the company just so he can have more control over her boss, hours, etc. so, i do think he's controlling, but the spanking and s&m stuff isn't abusive.

Only feminists and egomaniac males are boycotting it. After all, it's just another movie!

bc the sexual and physical abuse is basically all that this movie shows

because it talks about how a man has sex with everything that moves