Is marriage worth it or will I be disappointed?

The fairy tale marriages you have in your mind don't exist, so if you expect real life to be like that you will get disappointed. However if you see them as fairy tales or stories from movies and take real life one step at the time you won't be disappointed.

Like all things in life marriage (or any relationship for that matter) will have its ups and downs. That's normal and even healthy. So don't look for perfect and you should be fine.

However if you think a marriage will solve your loneliness you're mistaken. Only you can solve that loneliness because being lonely is inside of you. You can be around a 100 people and still feel completely lonely, so it's not amount of people you surround yourself with. You need to be okay on your own first before you can be okay with someone else.

So maybe that's something to think about, and maybe work on, now you're taking your first steps into the dating scene? You're in your early twenties so you've got plenty of time to figure relationships out. There's no rush to find someone to be with, so take your time and enjoy the journey.

Keep in mind that marriage isn't the ultimate goal. Having a healthy, loving and supporting relationship is. The piece of paper what's called marriage only gives you certain rights (as well as obligations) that can make life better in certain regards. Those benefits are what makes it worth considering marriage once you're together with someone you feel you'd like to spend a long time with.

Take your time thinking about marriage and what it means. Talk to people (old and young) about marriage and how they feel about it. It is social connection they feel obligated to uphold or does it have another meaning to them? Compare notes and make up your mind as you go. You're always free to adjust your norms or change your mind.

Hope this helps.

I don't think I can improve on Lil'Alien's advice. Happiness comes from finding fulfilment in some way, which need not be marriage. The alternatives are worth considering. Marriage requires a huge commitment - especially if you have children. Your personal goals become secondary. Singleness may seem lonely, but in fact you have the freedom to go out with friends, or visit family, or jet off around the world, whenever you please.

I've been single all my life and have enjoyed being an uncle to my four nieces. With only myself to support, I have had the freedom to resign from jobs which I did not enjoy, without having anything to move into - had I been married with children to support I would have had to put up with the job.

Another comment : If you have never been in a relationship yet, thinking of marriage is premature. Take it one step at a time. First date a few men, see how you like being part of a couple, then when you think you have found one you can put up with for life, that's the time to start thinking of marriage. (I was told that you need to find someone you cannot live without, but this is nonsense. Like running a business, you merely need to find a partner with whom you can get along and compromise and have compatible goals eg children or holidays or career or comfortable home.) If you see marriage as the only possible outcome from dating, that puts too much pressure on both of you. Dating is just dipping your toes in the water.

It is all up to you - marriage can be perfect if you find the right man for you, or it can be awful if you don't and you will feel trapped. It is very important to make sure that before you marry the guy, you know that he cares about you, you care about him, you enjoy each others company, and that there is nothing you don't like about him. The only way to make sure is to live with him for at least 3 years, if after 3 years you still have no doubts, then you can be sure that he is the one for you. Having more than one relationship before you are married gives you some experience in relationships and you can better understand if the relationship is going to last. The most important thing is to not rush into getting married.

Marriage is something that brings two different souls together who will always be there for each other no matter what. Yes of course there will be some fights or arguments but that doesn't mean you don't love him or he doesn't love u. Remember where there is fights there love exists. Marriage is all about Care Trust and Understanding between the two. But it doesn't work one way always remember that. But still don't stress too much eventually everything will work out. It takes time. You need to be patient. :)

Be sure what you are getting into and make sure you are not marrying for "love".

Marry because both of you want to accomplish the same things in life. There also must be strong sexual attraction and a desire for the same things sexually in marriage. Many unions have been destroyed by the bait-and-switch.

Also, know that even on the best marriages, there are always very dark, lonely times and stages where you will doubt that marriage is EVER a good thing.

You'll be disappointed for sure because you're imagining a fantasy. Marriage is a gamble.

I suspect you're happy the way you are, but you feel pressured after seeing your friends and family are getting married. Being single never bothered you before. Give it another 5 to 10 years and you'll be seeing them getting divorced. Don't take the benefits of singlehood for granted. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

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Marriage, like life, is a cycle of ups and downs. It's easy to say your marriage is in good health when the world around you is prospering, but when your fortunes turn and your world is in hardship, how you interact within your marriage can often paint an altogether different picture.

"the image of marriage in my head is very utopic, it's those perfect, cute relationships you see on tv, which is why I'm afraid I'll be disappointed " You will be life let alone marriage is not like that

well, I may describe u 3 marriages.

mine:

he works high end job, brings home lots of money, has excellent manners, real gentleman, takes care of me and whatever I wish - he makes it happen. he is also very mild and never raises his voice. I work because I want to, if I get bored I may quit any time. also he takes good care of himself - showers, shaves, goes to gym. he cooks for me on weekends. I take care of the house, if repairs are needed he does them and without me telling him - he sees smth is needed so he fixes it.

one of my friend:

he works some job, brings some money. yells at her LIKE HELL, she started having stomach pains recently. I say they re because of stress. when he does not yell he is all right. she has to work, otherwise they won't survive. she also takes care of everything in the house - cooks, cleans. he doesn't do anything except if some repairs are needed. doesn't take care of himself - is overweight, has high blood pressure. I don't know abt his showering, but he does not stink.

my other friend:

SHE works like a horse 2 jobs, as she has no education they re low end job - one cleaning another sitting at a reception. he does not work. she also does everything at home like cooking and cleaning, he DOES NOT DO ANYTHING AT ALL!!!!! also if any repairments are needed they either hire someone if they have money or it goes unrepaired. needless to mention they live in a dumpster - everything is falling apart and stuff everywhere. she has no time for cleaning and he doesn't help by sitting all day on his *** and littering. doesn't take care of himself AT ALL - does nto shave, does not cut his hair, neither he combs them (neither he washes them I suspect), doesn't take showers frequently (according to his body odour) and has missing teeth (front ones).

we all have children. mine is the second marriage, theirs are first. so it all depends upon the marriage whether u will be disappointed. I asked them why they re staying with their lousy crap men - they said they like them. not love - like. also I must say myself and my 2 female childhood friends look good - we never gained any weight and we take care of ourselves (washing, hair, body - everything).

so u try to be surprised in the future