I have a 5 year old grandson. My daughter is about to marry a man with a 9 year old daughter whom he gets every weekend. My question is::?

As a parent of three grown children, I would say yes, you treat the 9-year-old exactly as you treat any other child who celebrates with your family at Christmas (even if she spends the holiday with her mother). As for her birthday, if it's before the wedding, I think it would be very nice to buy her a card and a small gift, I don't think the money is necessary. But, after the wedding, treat everyone equally, even if it means giving each of them LESS ... just don't give either of them MORE than the other, unless you give her a little more for being older (like, their age in $$)

If he is a Good man and a great provider for your daughter and grandson the answer is yes if not she shouldn't even be marrying him at all. As long as his family is treating you grandson the same way. I say love on his child as if it was your own

what can you lose by welcoming this child to your family? Seeing her father remarry might be sad for her, it will end her dream that her birth parents will re-unite. You can show her that there are new relatives who will care about her and treat her with kindness.

Under no circumstances should you treat the children differently in any noticeable way. They would both notice and feel it, and nothing good would come from it.

I don't think you should have to put money in her savings account for her future, that's not your responsibility. It's not even your responsibility to do that for your grandson, but it is your choice and a lot of grandparents do that for their grandbabies if they can. (: So good for you! (: But, I think it would be fair to spend the same amount on gifts for birthdays / holidays. Or, give money to your daughter or her husband and let them make the decision of where the money goes, either towards a gift for her, or in her savings for the future. (:

its your choice how you want to treat the child. if you want to treat her the same as your grandson or not. my parents treat my boyfriend daughter like shes part of the family and spend about the same amount of money on her so I don't see why not unless you just don't like the guy

In my family step children are welcomed like direct children.

But i admit this can be an issue: twice as many grandparents often means twice as much spoiled!

What are we talking about here? A few bucks? Why be selfish with any gift to anyone? What the hell is wrong with you? You are a GRANDMOTHER who is trying to buy the affection of EVERYONE...that is the GRANDMOTHERS JOB....you silly git. Spend money on the little blighters....rile them up and SEND THEM HOME to the parents just like everyone else does. BUY their love...come on!

If you want to be a part of the family, then treat all children equally.

You should get her a toy before the wedding and give her the same amount of things as your grandson. :-)

If you can afford it sure, why not?