Is it true that we CANNOT CONTROL who we get attracted to? Has that happened to you? Pls.explain how.?

I think the media has a very heavy hold on everyone's lives, but I know some people who act off their own choices instead of others'.

The media portrays women needing big breasts, big asses, skinny... While the guys need to be strong, tall, attractive...

But after the past 4 months, I've realized something about a lot of guys in my life. Maybe they're not physically attractive off the jump, but the connection I've had with some of these men, intellectually, is so much better; plus the fact that increases my sexual desire for some of them.

So, yea, the media has an influence to a certain point, but if a person truly knows who they are and what they want, the media really does look backwards and manipulative...

yes its very true we have no control over who we are attracted to and who we fall in love with ----- the media hype about particular body types falls flat on its face when it comes to reality ----- if you are both mature how you look is not an issue its the emotional and intellectual connection you find and when its there you find that they are the most attractive person in the world TO YOU and you dont care what the rest of the world thinks ----- age has nothing to do with it

I've never heard of anyone being able to choose who or what they're attracted to. It's like choosing what foods to like. Of course everyone would choose to love healthy foods...but it doesn't work that way. We don't decide our tastes. We can refine them or even influence them slightly, but that's it.

Attraction is not a choice. There are many factors in play. It can also change through time too due to one's survival, as I'll try to explain below..

Media which know the psychological survival triggers of people. They understand how the brain works. That the brain looks for survival, and it will always strive for what is comfortable, and avoid pain. These play a major role in society even when we are young.

A) People will do things to survive at an unconscious level.

B) People will choose to increase their social status

C) People will mate with those they see of a higher value than themselves i.e. more beautiful, wealth, social status, profession to peacock to world and to attract value themselves in their social environment at an unconscious level and sometimes intentionally.

Media knows this, so does government. The whole structure of society is based on competition, and it is do for consumerism to survive, for trade and economy. It is not just sexual attraction at play but a very big game is at play and it is based on...economics which thrives on.....fear.

From the day we are born, as we grow, we are bombarded with pretty girls being rescued by handsome prince. We see commercials, movies, magazines, billboards, we also see the social dynamics regarding what is atrractive being played in schools where teens want to get noticed so they compete to date attractive and popular guys and girls.

We know of stories that talk about pretty gods and godesses and on and on it goes.

All this then creates the belief system, the perception, how the person sees their world and depending where this person is in their life, they will gravitate to what will help them survive the most.

As one grows MUCH OLDER and their resources become scare i.e. their looks for example, then they will lower the expectations and not be fussy about attractiveness in looks. They do so because their yearning now for company, sexual encounter badly and other things.

Women knows this very well.

As they get older, they age and will be competing with younger women and other women. When one has children, it gets even tougher for her in dating scene.

So we see our desire evolving to certain levels due to survival and it's still controlled by what our brain sees we need to survive at a certain point in our life.

Taste can also be same. It can change due to survival. A man was in sea, ship wrecked, he has to survive. As he tried to eat fish, he was not eating the nutrients his body needed. His brain to survive, started to change what he saw disgusting but was needed for him to eat as a delicacy. The brain did that because it's primary concern is to survive.

So it's untrue that we don't decide out taste. The brain decides and can alter depending if we are at a stage of peril. This means, when a person is at a stage on which he must find a partner, he or she desires so much to have sexual encounter, love....then the chips will fall. Then the attraction or perception what one sees will change a little and they will go for what they didn't before.

Like women,.

1. They first go for lover type.

2. When they have grown, experienced, they now go for potential boyfriend type,.

3. As they move on, and grow, they now look for provider type. Provide does not mean "income" but rather stabiliuty value. So sexual attractiveness is still there but not as much as stability value.

So yes. Attraction is not a choice but things changes as one mature, and as ones resources are low; survival steps in.

Much of the time, we can control it. But rarely, you can't. It's happened to me and to many other people I know.