Is it bad that I want to be depressed again?

Lol, I love how the other answerer calls you a complete idiot but can't even distinguish the proper usage of your and you're. xD

I think, with these thoughts, you still are somewhat depressed. I think you should talk to somebody about this...

Hello,

It sounds like you have been through a lot. Dealing with depression and overcoming its symptoms is a great accomplishment. Try to find the positive in the situation you are in right now and think about ways that you have become stronger because you overcame depression.

Continue to try activities that you like in order to get your mind off of these thoughts as well. Activities like working out, journaling, listening to music, or reading a book are all good options to distract yourself from thinking that depression is a better situation for you. Try to relax and take time to do those kinds of activities to see if they help.

Whatever you plan to do, please keep reaching out and take care!

TM, Counselor

no, not weird at all. This happens a lot, when you feel so lonely and have depression for so long, it almost becomes comforting to have depression [that sounds odd but hear me out] it becomes like a friend or a crutch and although you know it hurts u, its still familiar....and familiar is safe. Honestly I know some people that miss it so much they stop taking their pills or start taking other pills [that they shouldn't be taking] and try to SH again...idk, its r own life. you choose whether or not to go back or forwards

You may already be depressed again if you're thinking like that. The fact that you are wanting to lay down all day and lose weight and have people feel sorry for you.

seek a profeesional counselor.

Your a complete idiot.