Suggestions for figuring out if you want to work out a marriage?

The problem is you spend all this time trying to make him happy. Nothing wrong with it that what you do when really love someone, but what about yourself? When was the last time you did something to make yourself happy? When was the last time you put yourself first? Listen honey I encourage you not to give up on your marriage. I know it's hard. Trust me there is no such thing as happy divorce no matters what anyone says divorces tear and break families apart. There is no happy one. Happiness starts with yourself first. You cannot depend on your husband for all your sort of happiness. Yes he may play a big part, but in reality have him as your only prime happiness will cause pain because he is human and will make mistakes. My suggestion is you talk with husband and let him know how you feel. Get some marriage counseling.

People give me a thumbs down when I advise a couple to stick together and grow together and work it out. This is a divorce happy site.

"for so long... I stuck by him" coupled in a paragraph stating you've been wed a year, want a "stable" life and are only 21 but likely done with this husband suggests, to me, that you are all of the above.

So, one year ago when you took vows.. were you bored? Life is not an easy ride, ever. But if you didn't soul search in the last 5 years... I strongly encourage you to do so now. Don't know why that requires a divorce in a one year marriage... but, hey, this is a divorce happy site and no doubt you'll get lots of support in that fashion.

What you do is entirely up to you, and if you really don't think you'd miss him and would be miserable staying, then don't?

You said he's improved over the last year, but that you have withdrawn from him in many ways.

Personally, i think over-doing it with video games is a good way to become depressed, and also addicted. Your husband seems to have (or have had) a problem with this, and instead of putting his responsibilities toward you and the marriage first, he put himself and his dumb games first. He needs to get off his a.s.s., get out, find a job and start learning something about life responsibility.

I'd also like to say that, many young men do not wake up and smell the roses until they are in their mid-20's. Our brains aren't finished developing until around 25 or so (the average) and because of this, the decision making and responsible thinking we all believe a married man ought to have, isn't quite there at 23.

I have two adult sons, and i noticed the same thing with them. Both of their wives had a lot to deal with until they were around 28 years old, to be quite honest.

I wish you well in your decision making.

Conflict or anger itself does not have to cause an irreparable rift between partners. With good communication skills and a shared commitment to a marriage, even these are surmountable. How to save your marriage https://tr.im/QJppD

However, at that point where one partner is at the brink of abandoning the relationship, how can the remaining partner save their marriage? If you are at the point where your spouse has asked for a divorce, what can you do?

You must realize first that, you do have a choice. Often, when confronted by a crisis, we find ourselves backed into a corner thinking we have no choice in the matter. How can we change the situation when it involves another person's feelings or decisions? While we cannot, must not and in no way manipulate, blackmail or threaten our partner into changing their mind, we can actually control how we react to the situation. If anything, you must realize that you still have control over yourself. You have the opportunity to look inward and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions and even have the chance to take personal inventory of what your partner is trying to tell you. Are there points in your marriage that must be changed? If so, respond appropriately and proactively.

You were very young to get married - hardly even into your adulthood and learning about your adult selves. I suspect that you were madly in love and though that would be enough and would last for ever. Neither is true - we have to work very hard at marriage.

Buy yourselves Dr Phil's book "Relationship Rescue" - insist that he read it at least the first two chapters with you or alone before you sleep with him - or even cook for him.

To be frank, I think that you will both have to work very hard to develop your marriage successfully, although I doubt that either of you really has the motivation. You have written effectively that you don't, and if he sees marriage as being waited on hand and foot while he plays video games, he will be in for a shock!

Please don't have children at the moment.

Good Luck!

so you lied when you said for better or worse till death do us part? you really meant for the better, and the worse comes, your out of there!!! if the roles were switched how would you feel if he bailed on you? your thinking is very selfish, true love puts the other spouse ABOVE their own needs. if not its just selfishness.

Break up with him get a divorce! "He doesn't even communicate with me" yeah I really do recommend leave him.

Have you tried counseling?

make yourself happy first