Why are doctors so stupid?

First, a little background: I consider myself a fairly healthy person. I spend 20-30 hours a day watching football, and only eat when I'm hungry, in which case I eat 10-12 funnel cakes. I get hungry only about 7 times a day. Also, I only drink liquids when I'm thirsty, in which case I drink 5-8 six packs of beer (which, most of the time, is bud heavy). I only get thirsty about 6 times a day.

So, one day, this guy told me that I should see a doctor, so I did, just to call his bluff. So, when I get there, the doctor walks in, and I already know that this doctor is probably going to be an idiot, since he looks a lot like the kids I took lunch money from in grade school. And boy was I right about him being an idiot. He reminded me of the dumb retards who do books and math and stuff (Michael Bay didn't invent movies for people to spend their days reading dumb words on a stupid page). After I told him about the lifestyle I described to you earlier, and get this, he tells me that it is not "healthy." Isn't that just the dumbest thing you've ever heard in your life?