Why do so many Jews have German/Russian sounding last names like Goldberg and Rubin?

Look up the history of surnames. Comparatively speaking, the common people have only had last names for a relatively short amount of time. The concept was not in use when the Jews fled Israel, so had nothing to go on when they lived in foreign lands. When these lands decided over a thousand of years later to enforce the policy of surnames (mostly for taxation purposes), they just used their own language to put names to the Jews. Since many Jews eventually settled in what were German or Russian controlled areas, they got those kind of names.

This has nothing to do with ethnicity, since these surnames were forced onto the Jews based on where they lived. The Jews, specifically the Ashkenazi ones in this case, were ethnically distinct from Europeans but those handing out the surnames didn't care and also didn't bother to figure out appropriate variants for their culture. It's why, when many left those places for their homeland of Israel, that many changed their last names to better reflect their culture and heritage.

They came from Germany and Russia, and if they came from England they have English sounding names.

If they came from France they have French sounding names.

Sometimes they are translated to English when they get here. Goldvasser for instance becomes Goldwater.

The last wave of Jewish immigrants were Eastern European and German just before the war, so that's what's hung around. Then you have a name like Koch, and one kind of Koch is Jewish, and the other kind of Koch isn't.

People didn't name just Jewish people for the towns they were from or their business.

A Cooper was a barrel maker, and people were known by the area they lived in, Jew or Christian.

Or by who their parents were, the Spanish have a system where they practically give you a family history. María Teresa Isabel Eugenia del Patrocinio Diega de Borbón y Habsburgo, Infanta de España

In Ireland the use of O' means of the clan.

The suffix -son, as in Thompson, means Thomas' son.

Most Jewish names (and many, many other ethnicities of naming) are names of convenience or names imposed by the authorities. "We'll name all the Jews Goldberg, Silverberg and Goldstein. That way we'll know who is Jewish."

Some names are occupational. Animator Max Fleischer had an ancestor who was a butcher ("Fleischer"). Some occupational names are not common amongst Jews because of restrictions on the type of work allowed.

The families of many of the Jews in the US came from Germany and Russia. Some names survived Ellis Island ewasily; others got respelled or transmogrified. Take this apochryphal joke, for example:

"Your name is Jacob Goldberg, but you look Chinese, not Jewish. How did you get that name?"

"Man in front of me in line was Jacob Goldberg. My name was Sam Ting."

Actually there were and are Jews in China, and their names sometimes have been distinctive. This article in Wikipedia mentions names that mean "Gold" and "Stone." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Jews_...

The majority of Jewish last names were forced upon them by the non-Jewish governments in order to keep track of them.

The German origin names were forced by the Austro-Hungarian Empire around 18th century.

Russian sounding names were forced by the Russian government in the 19th and early 20th century.

Yes -- the Jews with the German and Russian last names do indeed trace their origin to ancient Israel.

They likely took the names that wouldn't identify them as Jews since they were chased out of every country. Early English names usually came from the type of work they did. Mason, Tailor, Goldsmith, Smith, Baker, Cook, Barrister, then shortened or misspelled over time.

Probably the greatest influence is love and marriage. For example, if a Swede married an Italian she would still be a Swede. If he was Catholic she might agree to become a Catholic and raise their children in the Catholic faith.

Because last names didn't become commonplace until long after 70 AD, after the Jewish diaspora.

People for some reason named Jewish people after cities and towns they were from, ******* weird

most are ashkenazi / khazars.