Any advice for a frustrated mother trying to potty train?

Since your child is now four and in not in school, you do have some options. First, take her to the doctor and make sure there are not physical or learning issues that need to be addressed. Assuming she is just choosing not to be trained, you may want to try the tough love approach.

You have to stop asking her and tell her that she has to sit every hour, whether or not she feels the need.

Basically you explain that young ladies her age are expected to go in the potty. If she want to act like a toddler, you will have to treat her as such. No going out to the park, play dates or the store. Stay home for one week and consider taking off the bottom half of her close if you are alone. This removes any obstacles for getting to the potty. Tell her that she will sit on the potty every hour and before and after every meal. Not for a long time. Sit her down, run some water in the sink and give her a couple minutes. Praise her if she goes. yes this is a hassle, but once she gets used to going when she doesn't absolutely have it will be much better.

First, have you taken her to the doctor and made sure there is no physical reason that is preventing her from potty training? That may be where to start. Then, stop asking her if she has to go, you already know that she's not reliable when she says no or not yet, so get in the habit of setting a timer for a certain amount of time and when it dings, she goes... maybe start with 20 mins, then 40 mins, then an hour. She's old enough you could teach her to do this herself after every bathroom trip... maybe you keep the timer on the bathroom counter if you get one loud enough or have her wear a watch with an alarm or put a timer on a lanyard around her neck during the day.

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Does your little one tell you by means of words, facial expressions or posture when he or she needs to go?

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Spend next weekend with her on tile or wood floors. Give her plenty of green or red kool aid with ice to drink. Have her around plenty of fun stuff to do in a limited space. And just have her in a dress no underwear. It's gross. She'll get the clue real fast. And when she pees, she has to stop her fun, clean herself up and wipe the floor.

When you go to the bathroom, take her to go too. When she sees mom use the bathroom, she may imitate.

I've done this trick in the summer outside in warmer weather. Oversized tshirts. Some bug spray. and no underwear. The pee running down the leg has grossed out each child in my family. Just calmly say, next time you have to pee remember to use the potty.