Is it possible to crush on someone without realising it?

Okay so I'm transgender and well I wouldn't say I identify as a lesbian but I definitely swing towards girls way more than I do guys.

Anyway, back in school although my gender caused me a hell of a lot of confusion the one thing I was always certain of was that I liked girls. I had a rather healthy dating life in school both before and after coming out and yeah. I never really questioned it.

Well I guess on the odd occasion I asked myself; "Could you ever see yourself with a guy?" but I always ended up thinking it through and coming out with the answer of "No, I couldn't."

Anyway, since then I have had about 2 crushes on guys. Quite hard. I'm 23 by the way. Usually I get drawn in by a guy with a sweet personality and it is pretty much once in a blue moon I fall for a guy. Aside from these very specific guys it is still hard for me to imagine myself dating a man.

Anyway, the reason for this question is I am remembering that ages ago before I even came out I was friends with this guy and well I quite often acted around him how I act around my present crushes. I also remember really loving the fact that after a sleepover my clothes smelled of him which as I understand is quite intimate.

Makes me wonder whether I had a crush on him that I never let myself fully embrace.

It was along time ago and I guess I am dwelling on the past.

But is it possible to have a crush on someone without knowing?