Are the circumstances of my birth actually a movie from the 80s I've never heard of?

So I was born on a plane that was crashing into another plane very slowly because we were being shot at by Somalian pirates who were also robots. Until recently, I believed myself to have been born in the back of a moving Taco Bell delivery van (we have those in Kentucky and my mother was part of the Norwegian Mafia at the time. Taco Bells are actually a massive cover up involving a form of meth done through anal suppository). Now that I think about it, the thing about the planes sounds like I was born in a Diehard movie never released. Was I?