How to stop binge eating?

I have binge eating disorder. I usually eat around 1000 calories during the week with some light exercise but on the weekends i go crazy and binge 3000 calories a day. I feel disgusting afterward and i cant control it and if i dont binge i get fidgety and naseous but while I'm binging i feel disgusted with myself but i cant stop. Then after the binge i get depressed and suicidal then try to repeatedly starve myself. Every calorie i eat i have to make a mental note of and i get so paranoid about everything i eat i have to plan my whole days diet and make sure i dont go above 1000 cal. Food and dieting is always always always on my mind and i cant stand it dictating my life but i dont know how to stop it. I am involved in extracurricular activities so for those of you who might say to get involved on an activity to reduce eating and take my mind off it, i already am involved in activities. I can't get treatment for this because i cant afford it and i am a minor, my mom doesn't see this as a legitimate problem so she refuses to get help. I dont have any friends i can talk to about this either. As I type this I have just binged and I feel so disgusted with myself I feel like I'm going to puke. Please help ): i know it's a pretty common thing and that my case is definitely not as severe as others but please help