How can i get my strict mom to relax?

Question

Im 14 and my mom is so strict. She's is amazing. She's a sweet and loving person but she's super tough at the same time. She grew up in Manhattan and Harlem so she's got a lot of street still in her, but in a weird way. Like she's no joke, she doesn't take any crap and can see through all the bs. My problem is that she's way too overprotective i guess you could say. Like when i go out with friends she has to know where I'm going, what time i will be back(she gives me a time and if I'm not back she will come get me...and then its over for me), she gotta know who all is going out...like i have to give her a detailed essay of my life. and if its not good enough for her i can't go. Like tonight i was at a pizza place with my friend and her brother and his gf. They decided to go down to the beach after and i asked my mom if i could go too and my friends brother would bring me home no later than 12. Of course she said no. When i begged her, her reaction was "girl I'm not playing with you. do i have to come get you?" So they dropped me off first. Im a little sad about it, and mad too. And tomorrow I really wanna go to another friends party, but then the whole "essay questions" will come out and i can't answer them because I don't know who all is going to be there and there is no time limit so I don't know when its over. My friends older brother will have some of his friends there too. And thats all I know. Please help me. I need to get her to chill out. But I'm not sure how.

Abi · Accepted Answer

I m going to say something you are not going to like. I know how it is having parents like that. Now being 21, I can tell you that your mom is trying her best to raise you right. You re 14 years old, your mom wants to know that you are safe, not having unprotected sex, not taking drugs and being smart. You might be saying that you won t do those things, however I ve been there and it s really hard to say no when friends are doing them too. As you get older she will relax more, however at the moment try your best to give her all the answers she needs. Be cooperative, be calm, don t get upset when answering. Make a deal to text her at specific times to let her know everything is okay. Do whatever you need to be there. Don t get mad at her, it ll make it worse. But if she says no, keep in mind that you have a lifetime for parties.

jimrich · Answer

At 14, there is not much you can do about a fearful, controlling and Shame-based parent so, hang in there until you can leave home and then go make your own life - hopefully  without fear or shame.  Take her bad examples of being and living and then go make your life better when it's your turn.   That's what us 3 kids did!

edward · Answer

Yay mom!  You're lucky to have such a great parent.  If you're friends think she's strict obviously thier parents don't care about them like your mom cares about you.

Ashley · Answer

I know it's not what you want to hear, but she is looking out for you, and it is for the best. I didn't understand it either when I was your age but I do now, and you will too. For the time being, I really doubt that there is anything you can do or say that will give you the freedom you desire.

Amy · Answer

Sorry, kid, but I got to side with your mom on this one. Trust me, I know it's frustrating, this is what my parents did to me. She just wants to ensure your safety. In the meantime, just give her the best answers you know when she asks about who you're hanging with it and cooperate with her when she asks you stuff.

John · Answer

Nope, i'm with your mom. Anytime a "friends brother" is going to bring you home redflags need to go up...........never trust your friends brothers.........that's a quick way to get a baby

linkus86 · Answer

You get her to relax by following her rules perfectly. By doing so she will begin to trust you more and ease up on you.

Anonymous · Answer

She's doing her job as a parent. Don't be an annoying little brat.

Lib.rare.ian · Answer

You're 14. You shouldn't be partying with the older kids. You know it and your mother knows it. So quit the BS.

Little Princess · Answer

Just make sure to thank her.

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How can i get my strict mom to relax?

10 Answers