Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.
Trending News
Wife and holiday depression.?
It happens every year, and I can feel it now the week of Thanksgiving. It'll be worse near Christmas. I love the holidays, and this brings my family down. I don't know what to do. She sees a therapist, but her birth family were and are so terribly dysfunctional, that she has what I can only deem as a form of PTSD.
Her sisters have done some awful things such as take down another sibling's photograph from their elderly dad's fridge, mark all over it with a marker, and say that my wife did it. Another sister we unfortunately encountered in a restaurant, accused my wife of never having had tongue cancer, even though half of her tongue was removed and she lost weight she didn't need to lose. Those are just 2 examples of the awful things they can do.
So when the holidays near, everything seems to be a trigger. I don't know what to do.
2 Answers
- Anonymous4 years ago
You say she's seeing a therapist, but when did this begin? Are you seeing improvements? If not, find a better therapist. I'm sure that's the last thing you want to hear, but I work in a related field and I can promise not all therapists are good. Yes, it sounds like her original family was toxic, but the day she left home, her goal should have been to get past all of it. She has a right to happiness like everyone else, but sometimes it takes several tries. Also, as her husband, you have the right to expect this improvement. Of course you want to be supportive, but this isn't normal.
The other thing is you might consider establishing your own holiday traditions. You don't want them to be about "escaping her family". That's too negative. What types of things do you enjoy doing? Is your family around to celebrate with? For example, when I was single and lived far from family, my friends and I set up a couple of traditions. Sometimes we went out for a fancy brunch and then watched football. Other times we volunteered to serve meals to homeless people. Both were very enjoyable, but in different ways.
The same goes for Christmas. Talk to her and try to come up with things you'd both look forward to and that could become a tradition. For example, I'm not a Christian and I never go to church, but I've always loved midnight services on Christmas Eve. This might not appeal to you, but it's an example of thinking outside the box.
Finally, if the 2 of you are kind of isolated, have you considered moving somewhere and getting a fresh start? It's just another random idea, but the main thing is you don't want this depression cycle to become a pattern, because once that kicks in, it's harder to break.