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Is suicide the right choice to make?
I'm 18 male. I have a 24/7 illness. I cannot describe to you how depressed and sick(physically and mentally) makes me feel. It causes 24/7 : fatigue,dizziness,migraine,brain fog,sensitive eyes to light(worsens migraine and things always look too bright or dark),dry eyes,reynauds,bad knee,bad joints,future back issues(partial spine arthritis),depression,anxiety,sleep insomnia,sensitivity with comfort and with eating food,slower healing(I swear I scar easier than most people and slowly heal),etc all 24/7...including my newest problem,partiallung collapse/partial pneumothorax. First time that happened was this August. It went away on its own(I thought it was some freak thing) but came back about 10 days or so later. That time I went to the hospital and had a chest tube and drained the air collapsing it. I went home 3 days later. I was sick as crap from the meds not let alone my other crap. My chest never felt great again. My right side(that's the same side as the lung) always cramped probably because of the blebs. I went back again 3 weeks ago. It did it identically again. I had chest tube and ACTUAL lung surgery. They chopped the top part off,stapled the rest shut,and attached it to the back of my chest wall. I was in the hospital 5 days! IM ******* 18!!!! Imagine how much more of this crap is ahead of me! I seem to get a new permanent issue every few years. The last one was probably either extra dizziness or my knee issue. Btw my LEFT lung has blebs too. Chances are
Chances are I'll be back in the hospital. I cannot live I want to die. I bought a hard earned car and got my permit! Well I was doing ok but one night almost crashed because of brain fog. No it wasn't just a bad night or mistake like normal people make. I suddenly felt very disoriented and could barely focus. That's NOT normal. I now haven't driven for over a month. I want to die. I need to die. Why the f live
4 Answers
- Serene ELv 74 years ago
It's never the right choice at 18.
I also have a genetic disease but I still have love, friends, family, a career, things I enjoy in life.