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How do I move forward with my disability-lifesytyle. Is life worth it?
I been physically/mentally disabled last 10 years.
Uncontrolled seizures. Can't work (SSI, SSD, VA-DISABILITY) physically-fit able to work but seizures =safety issue myself/others and environment. Plus lack of motorized personal transportation.
Seizure medication make me numb (blank mind, too focused on environment to have any real feelings/emotions) limits working possibilities
Therapy, support group won't work. (I dislike speaking = meds/slow cognition)
I feel like I have no support.
Limited and lessening friends/family (I could never make new friends, can't connect on a emotional level) most friends moved on since high school. Just my sister. (adopted, then parents died)
The friends I maintained contact with feeI don't need help assistance. sarcastically stating what do you need help with (I am always trying to assist others, a go to type of person)
_____
The way I feel is I just been existing. No real personal life. I am just holding on by a thread. And only still here because of one person. (if that person wasn't there when disability started, I would have committed suicide) (not because of support they provide, but because of the support they need most of which I can provide)
2 Answers
- pepsimanLv 64 years ago
I want to tell you something meaningful, but I'm struggling. My wife is literally falling apart (physically) and is struggling with these same questions. I wish you good things, and the best of luck.
- JudithLv 74 years ago
I can suggest only one thing - start seeing a therapist and get meds for depression/anxiety. That's the place I am in currently; just had my first appointment today with a psychiatrist and first appointment with a therapist isn't until June 19th - but at least I've begun. I need help dealing with some relationship issues with sisters, depression and also chronic pain.
I know you said therapy GROUPS don't work but have you tried individual therapy? Keep in mind the goal is to identify problems - and ways to cope with those problems. However, it requires behavioral changes on your part - you need to be willing to make those changes. Otherwise I can't think of anything else - except maybe becoming closer to God. Many people find peace and acceptance in that.
PS: I'm bipolar and my psychiatrist is afraid I'll respond to my new anti-depressants and go manic - I wish. I could use a little mania right now - then maybe I'd get something done. I'm moving in August and my stuff isn't going to pack itself.
You have my sympathy.
