I am a bad son and how to honor my mom? (read)?

Question

I came from a dysfunctional family. My family is split. I had problems with mom and always had conflicts and I psychically assaulted my mother and taunted her. Like -wise my mother had done the same to me. my mother is verbally abusive.
Recently I moved back to mom and my mom feeds me, and lets me stay in her place. Pays for my phone bill and also offers financial help. Im forever grateful but my mom provokes me and i been reacting in an hurtful manner to the point of my mom crying recently.
i feel guilty and i realized i am 20 and i need to be kind to my mom as my mom get older, there is no point pointing fingers, my mom will not change who she is, so i want to make it up to her and be kind as possible.

Its hard because I Have been like this for long time. How do i take care of my mom and be kind even if she is not nice.

linkus86 · Accepted Answer

Start with stop blaming her.  All families are dysfunctional because we are all imperfect.  You have your faults and Mom has her faults, and you are correct Mom won't change, but in her house she doesn't have to.  You do.

Step 1.  Avoid the argument

Learn the phrases "Yes, Mom" and "I agree Mom".  I say this because this will stop your mom from baiting you into an argument.  Because that is what is happening.  In the old days they used to say she would "press your buttons" to get you angry.  In order to do this you have to suck in all of your ego no matter how unreasonable she becomes.  I don't care who you are, but you can't fight with someone who agrees with you thus any argument will be short lived and these phrases will give her the respect she demands from you.

Step 2.  Do more than she asks of you

Showing love and appreciation isn't about giving her greeting cards or the occasional small gift.  Its about trying to help out and actually saying I love you.  I imagine you have some chores around the house, but showing real appreciation is about doing more.  Like cleaning the house without being asked.  Making dinner for her regularly, taking care of her when she is sick, doing anything to make her life easier,  And then doing so without looking for the credit.  Its really hard to get mad at someone who tries to make their life better.  And she will recognize your efforts too.

And to be completely honest it will all serve as good training for when you become married someday too.  Good Luck.

Trending News

I am a bad son and how to honor my mom? (read)?

1 Answer