I have no friends and often get really upset about but have no one to talk to about it?

Well, the people I would consider my 'closest friends' would not say the same about me and I rarely see them if I'm honest. I can't speak to them about it because I really don't want to make things awkward or make them feel obligated to invite me everywhere jut because I brought it up. Also I really just don't want them to feel bad. And I can't speak to my Ostend because I know that they would really pity me and that's not what I want. I can sense they pity me already because Indont go out much and it just makes me feel worse. All I want to do is speak about how I'm feeling to someone but I have nobody. I've been feeling this way the past year and it's just getting worse everyday. (And my school guidence councillor is actually just mean and I wouldn't feel comfortable enough twitch any teachers to talk to them, anyway school is out for summer). I really don't even know how to make new friends anymore, I just have no confidence