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I don't know what my sexuality is. Can anyone help me?

I'm 14 and I'm trying to figure out my sexuality and I have been doing for a year now and I have gotten nowhere talked to my friends and they presumed I was a lesbian or bisexual straight away but I don't know. I've been on childline and talked to some people about it and all they've told me is that it's ok and I KNOW IT IS! I don't need telling that. Anyway I've had HUGE crushes on guys but recently I'm kind of finding them a little disgusting sand I'm noticing myself looking at girls. I don't know what to think anymore. Can anyone please help me without telling me crap about it being ok and that I will figure it out on my own because I'm still none the wiser about anything.

4 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    With all the confusion, I say don't worry about labeling your sexuality. Love who you do and date who you will. One day you can label it, but right now you're just 14. Concentrate on other things, let love and dating take a back seat.

  • 4 years ago

    You are experiencing a lot of external influence so not all these feelings specifically point to who you are. You're trying on possibilities in your mind. It's like experimenting through fantasy. What your sexual orientation is will become evident years down the road when you're finally situated in an actual, serious, mutual, consentual and equally reciprocal love relationship that feels right. Until then, be yourself and reject labels that at this stage mean nothing. Love who you love and be yourself.

  • 4 years ago

    Sexual orientation: The term sexual orientation is generally used to describe how a person — if they do — finds themselves sexually, affectionally, and/or romantically attracted to other people in regards to the gender of those people; which gender or genders of person a given person can be in love with and wants to have any kind of sex with. There may be varying degrees of those things or experiences of those things being more separate than unified: for instance, a person may be very sexually attracted to men, but more emotionally attracted to women or someone may find that romantic attraction for them, to anyone, usually plays a bigger part than sexual attraction.

    Heterosexual (or straight): Someone who is solely or primarily (mostly) attracted to people of a different sex or gender than them, such as men who are attracted to women.

    Queer: Generally, queer is an umbrella term that describes a person who is not heterosexual. Someone may use the term queer as the way they identify, period, or may use terms like those below and also identify as queer.

    Homosexual (or gay, lesbian, same-gender loving, MSM or WSW): Someone who is solely or primarily (mostly) attracted to people of the same or similar sex or gender as them, such as men who are attracted to men.

    Bisexual: Someone who finds they can feel attraction to people of more than one gender, be that to both men and women, to people of all gender identities, or who doesn’t experience gender as a major factor in their attractions, period.

    Pansexual or Omnisexual: Someone who can feel attraction to people of all gender identities, or who doesn’t experience gender as a major factor in their attractions, period.

    Asexual (or nonsexual): Someone who has not experienced or does not experience sexual attraction to others or does not have a desire to be sexual with partners. In other words, someone who is not sexually attracted to anyone of any gender.

    Apasexual: Someone who feels a lack of significant interest in sex, or feels apathetic about sex in general.

    Androsexual, gynesexual, ambisexual or skoliosexual: These terms are a different framework for orientation than the framework of heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality, one that can be more inclusive and expansive than hetero/homo/bi and doesn’t require the gender of the person who is feeling the attraction to be defined in a given way, or at all. Androsexuality refers to someone who is attracted to masculinity, gynesexuality to femininity; am ambisexual is someone who can be attracted to both or either, or experiences gender as a non-issue, and a skolisexual, someone who is attracted to non-cisgender or non-binary people in general. Asexuality is also included in this framework. This framework doesn’t make rigid asssumptions about the other person’s gender, either: a person can be attracted to masculinity in women or femininity in men, for example.

    Pomosexual: Someone who rejects or does not identify as or with any categorization of sexual orientation as a form of identity. Pomosexual is basically a term for someone who is of the “labels are for soup cans” camp regarding orientation.

    Questioning (or -curious or -flexible, like bicurious or heteroflexible): Someone who isn’t sure right now, or has never been, of what their sexual orientation is; who is in the process of figuring that out. Terms like bicurious or whatever-flexible usually are used by someone who feels an interest or curiosity about a given gender of people sexually, but is still in the process of questioning. A term like that is sometimes also used to describe an interest in people of a given gender that’s there, but not felt as so central to be part of someone’s overall orientation.

  • Thank you for opening up. In many cases, same-sex attraction is nothing more than a passing phase.

    That’s what Lisette, 16, who was at one time attracted to a girl, found. She says: “Through my biology classes in school, I learned that during the adolescent years, hormone levels can fluctuate greatly. I truly think that if more youths knew more about their bodies, they would understand that same-sex attraction can be temporary and they wouldn’t feel the pressure to be gay.”

    But what if your attraction to the same sex seems to be more than a passing phase? Is it cruel of God to tell someone who is attracted to the same sex to avoid homosexuality?

    If you answered yes to that last question, you should know that such reasoning is based on the flawed notion that humans must act on their sexual impulses. The Bible dignifies humans by assuring them that they can choose not to act on their improper sexual urges.—Colossians 3:5.

    The Bible’s stand is not unreasonable. It simply directs those with homosexual urges to do the same thing that is required of those with an opposite-sex attraction—to “flee from fornication.” (1 Corinthians 6:18) The fact is, millions of heterosexuals who wish to conform to the Bible’s standards employ self-control despite any temptations they might face. Those with homosexual inclinations can do the same if they truly want to please God.—Deuteronomy 30:19.

    Don't give up! Keep resisting those urges. Here's an article that you may enjoy. https://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/g2010...

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