Etiquette response to new neighbor?

You did the right thing telling her about your son's situation. You had to do it. I don't know what you mean she got defensive about the cookies, but its best to let it pass, move along. Hopefully the kids have fun together and you and she can become friends apart from eating.

what the point ? The home is under a lease/ They don't stay long

It's too bad the neighbor took offense at your comments. If I was the neighbor, I would have been embarrassed for giving goodies that you and your family couldn't eat. I would probably suggest that you take them to work and share with coworkers. Try not to worry too much. It seems that there are many people with food sensitivities these days. My niece's youngest has a lot of food sensitivities. She tells the parents of his friends and sends him on play dates with goodies he can eat. No sweat. No biggie. Everyone is happy.

While you are not under any obligation to reveal private information to a stranger, you are also not obliged to accept the gift of cookies given your family's medical situation. It is understandable you did not want to appear ungrateful and chances are your neighbor became defensive because she was confused and annoyed but what she may perceive as contradictory behavior from you. This was not your intention so have a one on one conversation with your neighbor, explain why you accepted the cookies and share what is comfortable for you regarding your family's Celiac condition, if sharing at all.

nothing..you mind your own business and see them naturally. How do you know they are new anyway?

You can respectfully tell the person of the food restriction and also thank her for the effort at the time. You honestly need to have the balls to do so. Grow up with this and learn to communicate. I would try to visit her and give her a nice food item to show your appreciation. Good luck.

i wouldve just been honest with her and given the cookies to someone else that could eat them

Sounds like you handled everything right. You can't control how someone reacts though, so don't worry about that part.

It seems you don't have coeliac and can eat them. So you could have said, "Home-made cookies, how lovely, I can't justify baking them myself when nobody else in the family can eat them, but I do so enjoy them when anybody gives me some!"

Obviously trolling

What do you mean she "got defensive" about the cookies? Who brought up the cookies? In what context?

I would have told her point-blank from the get-go. "Thank you so much for the warm welcome and lovely cookies. I don't meant to put you on the spot, but unfortunately my family has celiac disease and are medically unable to eat gluten. I really do appreciate your kindness, but perhaps I could give them back to you to enjoy or they could be shared with another neighbor."

Thanking a neighbor for their generosity but being honest that their baking is wasted on you is not "spilling medical problems".

My guess is she was cranky about it because she felt you were dishonest with her and she figured you were going to toss her cookies in the trash...and no one appreciates that.

I understand why you did what you did - you didn't want to hurt her feelings - but you were being short-sighted. If I were you, I'd write a little apology note so that you can get back on track. Let her know you were trying to spare her feelings, but realize you should have been more direct. Assure her that you intended to freeze the cookies and enjoy them yourself bit by bit or that you were going to bring them to the PTA meeting or church or senior center or whatever...

I find it really strange that someone who is the parent of a celiac child would intentionally try to hide that from a neighbor when food is being gifted.