My ex returned my phone call, is that a good thing?

Question

My ex and I broke up in early Spring but I went all crazy and did everything I wasn't supposed to do: begged, pleaded, harrassed him and his family, textecalled nonstop --you name it.

Initially, the breakup had the possibility of reconciliation, I knew he loved me and felt bad, and he himself told me back then that he didn't want me out of his life. Up until 3 months after, I know I could have gotten him back if I was patient... but I wasn't.

Things got increasingly worse between July-August, by then, I said A LOT of VERY hurtful things that I am very ashamed of. We yelled back and forth and the last time we spoke he yelled at me "can you please leave me alone?!!" After that I decided I will respect his wishes & leave. I lost him.

I called him last week for the first time after that last yelling match... but he didn't pick up, so I texted that I wanted to see him to talk to him when he gets a chance. To my surprise, he replied that he's busy and another day would be better. I didn't think he would reply at all and I thought he was just being nice and would not reach out after that.

2 days after that, he called. He said he was afraid of reaching out, and I said it's understandable and don't blame him. We spoke a bit about everything and I told him I would like to see him in person in order for me to tell him what I needed to. He agreed.

Is there any slight chance of reconciliation once I apologize for all the things I said?
Why would he still be open to talk?

nonchalant_muse · Accepted Answer

"Is there any slight chance of reconciliation once I apologize for all the things I said? "- anything is possible, but if you are only apologizing to him as a means of convincing him to get back together with you, then you are not apologizing for the right reasons. If you really and truly regret what you said/did and you truly feel remorse, and you simply want to apologize to the person you wronged, then that is fair. However, if you are only doing so in the hopes that you will get something from that person out of it, then that is wrong and it is not sincere.

"Why would he still be open to talk?" - no one can read his mind, you would need to ask him that.

"I thought that by now I would have been recovered" - you haven't recovered because you have not allowed yourself to recover. Contacting him nonstop since the breakup is not a means of recovering. You are still revisiting the hurt by maintaining contact post-breakup. Recovery requires no contact and lots of time to yourself so that you may emotionally heal.

Even if you somehow end up back in a relationship with this guy, I don't foresee that things will be sunshine and roses for you. I can tell from your posts that you are not in a healthy state of mind. A relationship can only ever be as healthy as the least healthy person who is in it. As it stands, your relationship would be very unhealthy and I foresee that you will both soon be miserable (there may be an initial, euphoric "high" after you get what you believe it is that you want, but it will not last)

You have had plenty of warning about this, from me and from others; you have only yourself to blame if you choose not to listen.

? · Answer

No Isabel, let it go and him too

redd headd · Answer

That hatefulness will still be there. so you might not fit anymore. You may be better off starting over with someone else, now that you know more about yourself, and you can better control your temper.

Pick This · Answer

Don't you think you've made this guy's life miserable enough already? No, it is a BAD thing that he returned your call - bad for him! Poor guy must have a masochistic streak a mile wide.

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My ex returned my phone call, is that a good thing?

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