Feel like my cousin was treated very unfairly at her job, is there anything I can do? (She lives with me as her mother passed away)?

Question

My cousin got her first job two weeks ago, working in a kitchen. She had to pass a very quick health and hygiene test. She is a straight A student and very intelligent, but incredibly shy and reserved, and is only 17, so she mainly wanted the job to help her gain confidence.

She came home really upset a few times including the first day because the chef had shouted at her. She told me the chef gives her lots of instructions and gets angry if she messes up.

Today she came home in tears shaking and I couldn't get her to tell me what was wrong. She was sitting on the floor having a panic fit. She hasn't had a panic attack in years.

She said she had been preparing meat and taken her glove off, and put it on the counter. She said the chef had gone furious with her, screamed at her so loud and for so long that the other staff all ran outside the kitchen to see what was going on (because it is a health hazard.)

She said after she started crying and apologising, the chef continued to shout, causing someone else to intervene and get her out of there.

She ran away from that job I'm going in tomorrow to talk to them. But now she has gotten so much worse than before, she doesn't want to have another job ever again and hasn't stopped crying all night.

I feel like it's really traumatised her and whilst what she did was technically a health hazard, I think the way it was handled was really unfair. I feel like the chef was a bully. Can I do something about this?

babyboomer1001 · Answer

DO NOT talk to the chef.  He has a right to handle his business how he sees fit and your cousin needs to grow up.  It wasn't just a health hazard.  It was a health violation.  If anyone saw what she did, they could have reported it.  Reports to the Health Dept. result in a visit by an inspector and the results are of public record.  It would be a serious ding against the restaurant.  All restaurants are judged by their health regulations records, not just for good tasting food.  Most restaurants pride themselves on their good records and they want to keep it that way. The last thing they want is a violation reported to the Health Dept.  County health records are viewed by many people and violations are a good reason why to not go to that restaurant.  In fact, before I go to any restaurant, I check for health violations - I have done that for well over a decade.  Too may violations could cause a restaurant to shut down.   Obviously, neither of you realize the significance or importance of maintaining a restaurant with no health violations.  Considering the stupidity of your cousin, the chef did not over-react.  You are not helping your cousin by enabling her overly emotional state.  Talk to her.  Tell her that she needs to follow the policies at work, the rules, the health regulations - that pertain to the business.  I think she needs a year off to gather herself together and grow up a bit.  Perhaps, in another year, she will be ready to try again.  I suggest she tries working as a cashier in a drug store.  The work is slow and it would probably be a lot more manageable for her.  And, not a cashier at a grocery store.  She would find that too stressful too.  Perhaps, she needs counseling.  She is a bit too sensitive.

Marie K · Answer

You can tell her that any REASONABLE person would have reminded her that was a violation not had a full on RAGE at her.  Chef has a problem and she should  not work with chef anymore!

Judy · Answer

He might or might not have been overly harsh.  But she did break an important rule.  You need to let her, and to help her, grow up.  As far as going in to talk to them, you need to stay out of it.

glenbarrington · Answer

There probably isn't anything meaningful that you can do.  Talking to the chef and/or management won't change anything.

Maybe you could encourage your cousin to seek emotional counseling.

A Hunch · Answer

If your cousin is old enough to have a job, she is old enough to manage it herself.
- you don't need to be butting in.

It sounds like her issues are much deeper than just this former job.  As her guardian, what kind of therapy have you gotten for her?  If she isn't in therapy yet, you need to get her some ASAP.

Mamawidsom · Answer

Do NOT go in to talk to the chef, manager or owner.  You and your cousin are naive. Frist, she was hired to do a job and do it correctly.  She is not in a mentorship program.  Either she does stuff correctly or she gets in trouble.  End of story.  This is the same with any job whether it is in an office, retail store or restaurant.  Chefs are notorious for having high standards, poor management skills, and short tempers.  If your cousin doesn't want to work for someone like that she shouldn't work in a professional kitchen.  If she can't follow directions or "take the heat" she simply isn't suited to that type of work.  The restaurant is not there to help your cousin get over being shy.  They are in business to make money and your cousin's inability to follow health rules just lost them time and money. Your cousin needs counseling for her anxiety; not a job.

Jackie M · Answer

That's is what it is like working in catering and she has to learn the hard way, hopefully she will get the job back but it isn't going to change, the chef will always shout at her if she makes mistakes the same as any job.

Ritz · Answer

yes you guys got to suck it up and accept reality that nobody's going to hire you at the time that you want you got to face reality and realize that people only hire when they need to

Anonymous · Answer

Mind your own business

Goodvibes · Answer

You need to learn about sequencing events. Because this doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

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Feel like my cousin was treated very unfairly at her job, is there anything I can do? (She lives with me as her mother passed away)?

11 Answers