Do I have mood depression?

Honestly ever since my Dad hasn't been in my life from when I was 7 everything hasn't been good. Bad things happened, I've been lazy and depressed. A couple weeks ago I tried to kill myself, yesterday I was running in the street hoping someone would run me over. Like there are times I could be so happy and one little things happens and I'm sad and angry. At first I thought it was normal but I'm 16 now and I'm starting to think there is something wrong with me. It's very hard to explain but I seem to always carry a big headache with me when I'm also sad. It's like I don't care about my life or feelings. I'm just empty. And when I think about my life and past it doesn't help because most of it is bad or it was good and ended. I hate being like this because I love being happy but it seems like something always gets me.im too scared to talk about my past like it's too much. But I don't know what to do. It's just so much and I swear every year it's getting worst. I just want to fix this out before I really end up hurting myself. I'm not crazy but when these sad moods kick in I literally don't care about my life or anything else. I feel sick that I even feel like that. It's just getting bad and I don't know how to deal with this. People always tell me to not pay attention but I'm really concerned now because this stuff hits me deep everytime and I'm scared for my life. I don't want to life like this. I don't want people knowing me as someone like that can someone tell me what to do