How can I tell my girlfriend I don't like a vacation she goes to every year without hurting her feelings?

Question

So my girlfriend likes to go to this lake every year with her parents in Connecticut. I don't mean to be mean when I say this, but I find it extremely boring as it's not my idea of a vacation. I mean the reason I bring this question up is because she's going to ask me if i had a good time. Well of course I have a good time spending time with her, but I don't have a good time being at that place if that makes any sense. My idea of a vacation is to see and do things you can't do back home like seeing the Pyramids in Egypt or exploring in the Amazon rain forest. I just feel going to the same place every year is tedious and too much of the same kind of things. I'm just one who is adventurous who likes to see and do amazing things. I want to make a point and say I'm all for her and her parents enjoying the vacation. It's their tradition that they love and it's what they can afford and I greatly appreciate her parents  for having me even though it's something I don't enjoy.  My question is what should I say to my girlfriend if she asks me if I had a good time without giving her the wrong impression in making her think I don't enjoy her company?

Janet · Answer

It is a rather limited psyche that cannot find a way to entertain themselves on a vacation in Connecticut.

Boredom happens when we have a lot of buried fear and pain that threatens to seep up into our conscious awareness.  So we need a lot of distraction to drown out these inner whispers.
And when we don't get enough distraction and these whispers threaten to become "loud" ... we call that boredom.

How can you tell her you don't like it without hurting her feelings?
You can't.

And when she asks you if you had a good time, be honest. Kind but honest.  
Honesty and trust are 65% of what makes a relationship work.  BE honest.
So if you don't have the courage or the skill to be honest in a kind way .. or if she is not emotionally-mature enough to handle honesty .. then the relationship is doomed anyway.

PoohBearPenguin · Answer

It's better to just be honest, but not brutal.

At the same time, understand that going along with her may be important to her.  I certainly know that my wife doesn't always enjoy going back home with me for Christmas but she knows it's important to me for her to be there with me.

, · Answer

If you have trouble communicating basic preferences, how are you going to discuss major issues?   At some point you're going to have evaluate your relationship and decide where you want to be in six months or even one year from now.   You need to be honest and upfront with her.   Tell her you're thinking about planning a bigger, adventurous vacation and you won't be able to go with the family to the lake this year.

k w · Answer

be honest, tell her the truth.....she'll deal with it.....

seedy history · Answer

You say, "Yes, thank you for inviting me. It was nice to join you." And then, if you are still around the next time she invites you on her family's outing.. you can say, "Thank you for asking. I'm saving up my money and holiday time for an Inca adventure and climbing in Peru".

Coach Simon · Answer

You can't be very good communicators if you don't even know each others' leisure time and vacattion preferences. Serious relationships involve compromise, sacrifice and acceptance. Read the books.

Anonymous · Answer

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How can I tell my girlfriend I don't like a vacation she goes to every year without hurting her feelings?

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