Is it impolite for a guest to ask you to put your pets away?

Question

My friend asked if my husband and I wanted to get together, and we set a time and date. Later, she asked if we can host it at my house and if we can put our dog and cat upstairs because her husband is allergic to pets. She said he'll also take allergy medicine before they come.

Honestly, I assumed they would be hosting because of his allergies- it's the fact that they invited themselves over and then asked me to put the animals away that bothers me. My dog does not jump on people or bark. Whenever he approaches a guest who doesn't like dogs, I call him off immediately and he obeys. The cat ignores everyone.

Do you think it's reasonable to ask someone to lock their pets away in their own home? With allergies, does it really make that much of a difference if you can see the animal or not as long as it's not in your face?  Of course I would put the health of my guest first, but again, I didn't initially offer to host.  Thoughts?

Anonymous · Answer

No. People's health takes priority. She was being sensible alerting you to the problem so that you as a courteous host were prepared. You could decline and suggest meeting elsewhere.

A good host tries to avoid having their guests wheezing away and having a dreadful time if they can prevent it.

Blessed · Answer

you should have declined as soon as you were asked to host. call and tell them you changed your mind. it is very impolite of your friend and tell her so.

LiverGirl98 · Answer

If you did not like your friend's suggestion of you and your husband hosting this get together and asking you put your pets upstairs, it would have been beneficial for you to speak up at that time and suggest her home as the alternative, given it is a pet-free zone.  Ultimately, you and your husband are not obliged to play host if doing so makes you uncomfortable, so decide what you feel is best for you.  Additionally, if you decide to host your friends, ensure the following get together is in their home.

? · Answer

I routinely put my cat in the basement when I know people are coming over just as as a courtesy.

Zol · Answer

Why not host it at their house?  Say look, it's YOUR party, YOU don't like pets, why want it at my house at all.  Better you do it at  YOUR house then my pets won't disturb you, & you won't disturb my pets.

Looks like they just want a party, but for you to do all the work.  Maybe to provide & prepare all the food. 
 Don't be surprised if the pet hairs etc start playing up just as it's time to start clearing up.

Pat Wooden · Answer

Whether you host this time or not, it's important that you understand animal allergies and animal aversions.  Both dogs and cats constantly shed hair and dander (a type of dandruff) on everything in the house.  So, just being in a house where there are pets can cause some allergic reactions, which is why she proposed taking her medication first.  Obviously, touching the pets would make it worse.

I also mention aversion, because some people just do not like to be around dogs and/or cats.  They may have had a bad experience in the past, or for some other reason try to avoid them.  I know you love your pets and can't imagine anyone disliking them, but this aversion is psychological and is not in their control.

In this case, say what you are thinking--you think it would be unwise to host someone with a pet allergy.  You respectfully decline the offer to host.  However, they may feel you are doing your share, in which case you might want to consider meeting in a neutral location.

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Is it impolite for a guest to ask you to put your pets away?

6 Answers