Am I wrong?

Honey , you gave this man your body, and finger in marriage and goes out with his friends all the time?? AND , excuse me does not want his wife using his card??? Ohhhhhh poor baby. Honey, go buy some hot boots sexy outfit gets some of your gfs . Go out and find a hot but teddy bear type guy and let him give you want you need as a woman till the bed breaks. I cant tell you what to do with your marriage you must figure it out. But figure it out as your feet are on shoulders of real man.

If you have any money of your own, I'd suggest move out or in with someone who can support you emotionally. From the way you describe your husband, he's not interested in either the kids or you. Are you on an allowance? How do provide for the girls and yourself? Open your own account, save what you can from his income (if you don't have income of your own)...and get out or go to a shelter ASAP.

The type of scenario you presented didn't just happen overnight so, why did you both leave it so long before labelling one another bad parents? Living with someone and not really knowing anything about them appears to be a trend on the rise, however, it's casualties or not just you two but also the kids. He appears to believe that as long as he provides for the kids, that gives him a free pass to do whatever he likes, such a Neanderthal. You on the other hand turned yourself into a baby making machine without really thinking about the effect it was having on your marriage and neither did he. The facts you presented may lead us to believe he's solely to blame but you know it's not the truth. marriage counselling could be the best option, although I know he'll not want to consider this option at all so, when he's next home, ask him what he believes the next step you should both take. This places him in a leader role which both boys/men like. Not out of options but I believe with mine and other replies, you've got enough to think about.

The only thing that's obvious here is the 2 of you have almost no communication skills. Everything you mention, from sex to how he spends his free time, is a symptom of this bad communication. Without open and honest communication, you won't make it as a couple.

It sounds to me like the 2 of you need to carve out some time and thoroughly discuss all of this. Why is he working so far from home? Might it make sense to move? I've heard of couples doing this for 6 months or so when something unexpected happens, like big medical bills. But it's not a good lifetime plan. In the US, there are always other and better options.

Also, are these kids his? If so, I can see why it's tempting to yell at him for putting friends above family, but what if you tried a completely different approach? Talk about how much they idolize him and how hurt and confused they are when he bails on them.

If this doesn't work, then the 2 of you are at a crossroads. If you're BOTH committed to the marriage, get couples counseling. You'll learn better ways to communicate and also find common ground. But both of you have to want this. If not, then the marriage is already over.

You are telling us he comes home every weekend but you won't have sex with him?

You pay all the bills from your own earnings? He contributes nothing to the household? What does, "my girls", mean in the context of the two of you having 4 children?

Your husband doesn't feel loved either. And it doesn't sound at all like he is. Your household doesn't ring with joy when Daddy comes home. Sounds like you haven't taught your children to greet their Dad with joy and cherish his company either. You are equally throwing this marriage away. It's not all on him.

I get you are sad and lonely. He must be too. Coming "home" to a household that isn't glad to see him. You are both participating in the destruction of this marriage.

So what does he do for you? Is he financially supporting you, like paying the rent or other household bills? If he doesn't live with you the majority of the time, doesn't spend time with you, and doesn't support you financially, I don't see any reason why you would stay married to him. Are the children his? If the children are his, then you would almost certainly be better off divorced, because then you would have child support coming in, which might be more financial support than you currently get. If the children aren't his and he isn't supporting you, then might as well get divorced and be an actual single mom.

Become a good wife - then he won't have reason to complain.

He supports you financially -- so you need to do his laundry for him, cook for him, clean the house, tend to the kids (all the things a woman does) -- then he cannot complain about it.

The feelings that you are feeling are normal to a lot of people who have been married for awhile and have kids. Stop expecting him to make you feel good - find other things to get your attention that takes your mind off of all of this -- thinking on it constantly will make it worse for you.

Don't nag him (or even mention it) about not getting to talk to him enough .. just get all things done (house, clothes, kids) then do special things for YOU.

Neither of you are willing to give out of love, just for the act of giving and expecting nothing in return. Your relationship has become transactional. It will never stop being transactional if you don t give love and affection freely. And, since you can only control you, that means that you are the one who will need to make that gesture. Can you try to act as a good wife in the ways he is asking just for the sake of your marriage? I would try that before throwing the towel on your vows. If you have made every effort to fix the things he says are wrong in the marriage and he still makes no effort to fix what you say is wrong with the marriage, that is different than if neither of you are willing to do what the other wants until your own requirements are met first. But I would suggest taking that first step of attempting to fix things on your end. From there maybe go to marriage counseling and see if, once his complaints have been addressed, you guys can get into gear mutually addressing each other s concerns again.

No, he is the wrong one, completely! How long has this been going on, and how long has he been staying out of town? Where does he even sleep at during the week?

Edit: Ok read your comment. Wow so he won't even tell you where he's living 5 days of the week? I;m not sure also if he could really be telling the truth about the cell phone issue. I mean how do people work at his job, surely they would be using cell phones some of the time. Plus he can't find any good spots? And what about in his mobile home?

Of course he doesn't care. It's pretty obvious.

You can ask him for marriage counseling but I doubt he'll agree to it.

It's a huge red flag if he keeps his finances a complete secret from you.

So either get used to it, or file for divorce.