How can I be happy for my pregnant sister?

Question

Long story.
My sister married a guy she met when she was pregnant with her first child.
They ve been married only a year, granted he s helping take care of her first child from different father.
The guy doesn t work real jobs.. Doors under the table party time bartending only. 
They had to leave their attic apartment and moved in with my parents. He is working even less now. My sister keeps saying she wants another kid, but with her hubby. I understand this, but they have barely 5¢ to rub together and no gone that s theirs. My parents place is already small. My sister can be neglectful already with this 1 kid. Her hubby was in jail for most of their dating too. 
She just told me she s pregnant with his baby. How the hell can I be happy for her? I m faking happiness right now, but oh my gosh WTH is she doing? They don t have priorities straight. I know it s her choice, she s an adult age 30, but acts 14. The baby didn t get time with other babies (age2), she s plopped in front of the most days. She recently got off birth control to get pregnant. Her first child isn t getting help from her dad(dead beat guy refuses to help$$). My sister doesn t want to bother getting child support because it s too much hassle for her. I told her it s for the baby, who cares about hassle when u need the money for baby. Her husband s nice, but I kind of don t trust him.

How can I be happy for her, and not say anything?

heart o&#39; gold · Accepted Answer

You can’t, but you don’t need to express that.
I agree she’s making crappy decisions, I suggest that her brain is addled by hormones right now.
If anyone is going to step in and tell her she’s being an idiot, it’s your parents.  But it isn’t your place to tell them that either and if you do, it will get back to her, I guarantee it.

I suggest you get on with your own life, observe but don’t be involved in her crappy decisions and offer her your advice if she asks for it.  You can use her life as an example of choices NOT to make and make your own life an example of how to be successful.

seedy history · Answer

If your parents are willing to tolerate your sister, her husband and two small children living off of them.... I suggest to shine up your babysitting skills and occasionally offer to sit for the kids. It's entirely possible to wish and pray for your sister's wellness and happiness without actually being happy about her choices.

Pearl · Answer

i would just be happy that youre getting another niece or nephew

myportraitdrawing · Answer

This is not a good situation, so you aren't going to be happy about it. Berating her or being negative won't help the situation either. Just try to be a source of positive support.

Rosalie · Answer

first of all, never mind your sister. 
Look to what this must be doing to your parents, and make sure they are OK. 
They may not feel as though they can kick her out, since there is a grandchild, and she will make sure of her position as squatter by having another child. So far, it's working for her, and no doubt she gets attention by having babies. It's not uncommon.

If you see the child(ren) not being cared for, call CPS. If she needs to apply for public assistance, she will be forced to apply for child support. This stuff may not come soon, but from the sounds of it, it will come. Kids in foster care don't come from nowhere.  What can you do? You can look after the baby or call child services. Make sure your parents aren't being bankrupted, and encourage them to deal with her- and talk to other relatives and their friends to do the same. You will probably not fix her, but she is ruining the lives of a lot of people around her, who are letting it happen.

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How can I be happy for my pregnant sister?

5 Answers