Things said when uncontrollably angry... Hidden truth? Or "just angry didn't mean it"?

In the heat of the moment.. people protect themselves. It is not at all true that they are likely to be most honest in those moment. When we are defensive.. we say what protects us. Sometimes that is not our "truth" at all. We can, sometimes, reveal our fears though.

If they are talking about how they feel about you, then at the MOMENT they say they hate you, they mean it.

Most of the time, they feel differently the next day.

But this is not the behavior of someone who is emotionally healthy. This is someone who is NOT yet mature enough to make a relationship work or last.

If they are saying something about you (rather than how THEY feel about you) .. something that insults you or puts you down .. usually the person means it. They are just angry enough, annoyed enough, or drunk enough that their good sense slips down and they say what they think.

People attack when they are hurt by a perceived indescretion. They saywhat their thought permit them to say. Some spontaneous reactions are ill conceived and poorly executed. Nonetheless the ideas formed from feelings are legitimate not necessarily logical or rational or reasonable. The ideas in their heads have a basis. If the ideas were unjustified in the first place the words are clearly uncalled for and should not have been used. With me so far? So now, here is the question. Was the person ideas based upon fact or fiction. If you say fiction, did you unknowingly create the impression which was interpreted as real. What gave that impression is what you must determine to validate or not valudate the causes of what was said. There is no easy way. Once you determine the underlying cause, you’ll be in a better position to determine if what was said was called for.

Good luck

Next time.

I'm afraid it's the 1st one!

Not enough information.

Was there alcohol involved? Drugs? Did they just suffer a major loss, a death oin the familiy, a divorce, loss of a job?

Lots of things can be said in the heat of the moment, and it depends upon what else is influencing that person at the time, as to whether they should be taken as true. Often, people under pressure abuse the ones they believe are safe to attack, without fear of retribution. That doesn't always mean that what is said was really meant for that person.