Martha

I told him that if it weren't for my kids I may have ended my life by now. His response was "I think if you didn't have kids then you'd be out there living your best life and wouldn't have wanted to kill yourself". I know a lot of you think he is correct. But this is not the case for me. Should I assume my kids are a burden to him if this is his first automatic reaction? Can a relationship work when one partner thinks this way when kids are involved? Seems like he will assume life with me won't be as rewarding as it could be if I didn't have kids.

I have recently moved in with my sister who has a cat. While I love cats, I don't agree with them walking along and sitting on the kitchen bench where I prepare my food. I also disagree with the cats bed being placed on the dining room table where I eat as there is cat hair all over it. It is the one thing we argue about. I have said "find me someone who thinks this is ok". She said "you will be disappointed as it is very common" and she knows MANY people who are ok with it. So I am asking the public. Is this common and accepted among cat owners?

Please tell me your age if you answer.. There is a lot of hair down there on TV shows such as GOT and I'm wondering if the times and preferences are changing, or if shaved is still what people prefer.

All my partners have always thrust fairly hard and fast... Ive never had a guy take his time. Is that normal?

My sister lives with her ex until she finds a place. Theyve been broken up months and months. He recently starts seeing a girl as a friend and she finds comfort in reading every msg he has with this girl. She eventually found something she didn't like and yelled at him for it, so he put a password on his computer. She gets in every time he forgets to lock it and eventually found a way around that all together and reads them through another device which he didn't realise had his password for Facebook saved.

I told him to change all his passwords and log out of devices just incase, but without outright saying my sister is in your business again. So he does. Then she gets his phone when he's in the shower. Now his phone has messages from me in there saying she's lost her mind and to change his passwords etc.

Now I love my sister--but she feels betrayed by me to have told him. Should my duty have been to my sister (and yes I told her a thousand times what she was doing was wrong but she didn't care and felt justified). Or was I right to tell her ex to lock his stuff up? I wasn't exactly saying lovely things about my sister to him because I really believe her behavior was crazy. But to say that to her ex is uncool....Is she totally justified in being angry at me for telling him? (he was a friend of mine before they were together, and I don't think he's a close friend at all, but he's close to my partner still)

If a person gets angry and explodes saying they hate you and can't stand you and want you gone out of their life only to say they didn't mean it when calm again. Did they just accidentally release too much hidden truth? Or do people lie in the heat of the moment?

My husband has never really been interested in pictures of me. If I send him a selfie, it's too fake and he's not interested and they get deleted (no I'm not fake looking but that's his view) alternately, he won't take photos of me at all. He takes photos of the children all the time, I take pictures of him with the children but the only pictures I have of me with my kids are selfies that I took. I took what I thought was a very pretty photo of myself today and instead of saying so, he said I looked sad, washed out and my lips looked weird. Hes never really complimented me come to think of it. Is he even attracted to me at all? Anyone else's husband do this?

My sister and her ex live together. They are both on the lease and pay half/half rent. I am friends with both. He asked if she could vacate the house, as a girl he was bringing home was nervous about the idea that his ex was there. He said "do you mind if we have the house? She s feeling a little nervous" My sister said no, that she would be staying and that for him to ask is unreasonable. He then complained to me, said that she is being difficult because a guy she s seeing has a house, and "she should just go stay at his house". When he seemed annoyed at my sister for saying no. I sided with my sister and said he cant expect that of her. He said "I never expected anything or demanded anything of her, but she had somewhere else she could have gone."

So Yahoo community! Am I being bias? Is his request unreasonable? Or is it fine...? If he wasn t expecting anything, wouldn t he have said "no worries" instead of complaining to me about her response? I love them both, but I am genuinely unsure who is in the right or wrong here. (Of course I will stay out of it, but I would love to know outside opinions)

Is this a form of manipulation or something? Or is it bad timing, and I am being unsympathetic...? A year into our relationship, he cheated and I found out. He literally has a mental break down, curled into a ball crying and opens up about his neglectful parents... I am crushed but end up taking care of him for 2 weeks straight and feeling I have to forgive him and don t really get a chance to be angry/upset. Move forward we are married and have a child. Just before bubs born, I discover he has lied about speaking to a diff woman he slept with when we broke up for a week. He then breaks down again, crying and hates himself. I look after him. He lies again about something else, and I stop talking to him for 2 days. He then opens up about being abused as a child, so I have to support him and forget my anger yet again. The next is a situation where by he has to see the woman he cheated on me with because her child is doing something with his child. Just being reminded that I am frustrated at myself for being with someone who hurts me so much has me quiet for a few days. Instead of support and empathy, he sits down to talk to me and starts telling me for the last month he has been crying daily on the way to work and doesnt know why, and starts crying in front of me. Again it becomes about him... I am more than empathetic and loving and supportive, but I cant help but see a pattern here and I feel overlooked and neglected by this all the time. Am I being selfish to think this?

All the others I wanted to know about. Now I’ve had at least one of each sex, I wonder if I should have a surprise this time. Is a surprise fun?

My son is 1 and very chubby. (12kgs already) He wants to be carried around to see what I’m up to. But he’s so heavy! Even in a carrier I get sore shoulders. Any advice that isn’t “leave him on the floor and let him scream”

My 6 year old was getting emotional over something silly. My husband grabs his arm to try reason with him and my son who is already emotional starts shouting “let me go let me go!” My husband holds him still saying “not until you listen”. It goes on like this for a while until I’m called upon to resolve the issue. I don’t agree with control and violence in order to get children to “shut up” when they are emotional. My husband says since it’s not smacking that it’s fine and he just “needs to calm down” (even though his method never works). I can’t for the life of me find anything about this apparent grey area when I google search. Can I have opinions on this one? Or if anyone read something about it or knows of a website they can guide me to? Would be lovely, as I’m just not sure.

There is probably one question in every 5 or 6 questions recommended to me that are in English and I can’t find any settings to stop this- it’s irritating.

We bought a brand new hand made doll on eBay and she is a collectable and beautiful and her eyes are permanently shut. So far 2 of my family members have dreamt of her opening her eyes and also a friend who visited my place and held her dreamt this too- now they are creeped out by her... Its not an antique!! I find this very odd.

My step daughter is 5. She adores me- even more than her dad most of the time. Her mother on the other hand, hates me very much. As my step daughter gets older, her loyalty to her mother is obvious- (she wont eat what I cook saying its yuck even though she ate it many times before- saying it was the best, refuses to play with a doll I got her for her birthday saying she doesnt like it anymore when she begged me to get it for her). Something else is concerning me about her behaviour, however, and I suspect sexual abuse. Should I stay out of this and let her life unfold as she isn't my child? (which my husbands ex so often reminds him) And for the record? He wont do anything unless he has PROOF because he is scared of his ex and what she will do if he suggested something sinister in her care. Is there any way a fiercely loyal child will confide in a loved step parent? As I know she adores me even if she has to hide it sometimes for her mothers sake. She is in a really unhealthy environment as it is with her mother- and I couldnt bare to think she was being abused but we stood idly by despite suspicions because we were afraid of her mother. I want her to talk to me- not admit to abuse- but confide in me in general so that if there is abuse she will feel safe enough to tell me. Any advice?

I have an idea to write a novel and just discovered its similar to another book out there. I didnt know this in the months I have been playing with this idea. Is the theme "travels back in time and meets a handsome stranger in old school England" an overdone theme? My sister says its like Outlander- but Ive never watched or read Outlander... It is genuinely my own plot and a different story- but the core of it is similar.... Is this acceptable in the novel world?

My 57 year old mother has begun accusing me of stealing things from her house. she comes to my house and goes through my cupboards to find things that were once hers and accuses me of taking it. It is usually something of hers that she’d given to me over the years. (Old Tupperware, sheets, towels etc) Most of it she would give to me saying something like “do you need any towels I’m getting rid of some”.

Shes begun finding things at mine that aren’t even hers, or haven’t been for a long time. saying “I’ve been wondering where this went” or “is that mine?” and there’s no telling her otherwise. She recently took back a casserole dish she gave me from her collection when I first moved out 17 years ago. Completely convinced she’d wondered where it went and that I’d stolen it and that she never would have given it to me as it was one of her “good ones”. Now if I even have a hand cream that she also uses- she asks me if I took it from her house.

I read that dementia patients accuse others of stealing when they can’t find things at all in their own space- but it seems that she recognises something in my belongings when she visits and believes that it’s been something she has been missing all this time and it seems like she actually believes I go “shopping” in her belongings somehow while she’s not looking. Is this a sign of dementia? Or just old age? She doesn’t seem to show any other “symptoms”.