My mother is accusing me of stealing things from her all the time. Things that she has given to me over the years. Can this be dementia?

Question

My 57 year old mother has begun accusing me of stealing things from her house. she comes to my house and goes through my cupboards to find things that were once hers and accuses me of taking it. It is usually something of hers that she’d given to me over the years. (Old Tupperware, sheets, towels etc) Most of it she would give to me saying something like “do you need any towels I’m getting rid of some”.

Shes begun finding things at mine that aren’t even hers, or haven’t been for a long time. saying “I’ve been wondering where this went” or “is that mine?” and there’s no telling her otherwise. She recently took back a casserole dish she gave me from her collection when I first moved out 17 years ago. Completely convinced she’d wondered where it went and that I’d stolen it and that she never would have given it to me as it was one of her “good ones”. Now if I even have a hand cream that she also uses- she asks me if I took it from her house.

I read that dementia patients accuse others of stealing when they can’t find things at all in their own space- but it seems that she recognises something in my belongings when she visits and believes that it’s been something she has been missing all this time and it seems like she actually believes I go “shopping” in her belongings somehow while she’s not looking. Is this a sign of dementia? Or just old age? She doesn’t seem to show any other “symptoms”.

Guru Hank · Answer

It is very sad, but I think you may be right.

y · Answer

Sound more like typical people that reach that age that are sort of disgruntled in life.

Marc · Answer

Yes. One off the signs of the disease is what you describe. She should have a neuro workup.

Andy C · Answer

Dementia doesn't happen overnight.   Little bits and pieces lose function over years, even decades.

My mother is the exact opposite.   Everytime she's over, she brings foods and things that she THINKS are mine or that I like that either aren't mine or foods that i have shown distaste for all my life.

Your mom doesn't seem to be able to remember what she's missing and what she's not.

She should see a specialist,  like my mom should, but will probably refuse, like my mom.

Yours is negatively impacting you,  so confront but be sympathetic.   She's likely scared of losing her marbles...as you will be.

formerly_bob · Answer

Its hard to say.  there's obviously a mental problem, but it might take some probing to figure out if its psychosis or dementia.   Since the issues seem to be isolated to stealing, it seems more like psychosis.  Its definitely not menopause-realted.  menopause is a normal part of aging and while it commonly affect moods, it does not alter cognitive abilities.

Kt Skycat · Answer

Yes that is indeed a sign of dementia. Sorry.

kswck2 · Answer

It is possible. Maybe it is time to have her evaluated.

lj1 · Answer

It's possible, but dementia isn't too common in people your mom's age. My guess would be hormones and/or stress. She is at the right age for menopause to begin.

Trending News

My mother is accusing me of stealing things from her all the time. Things that she has given to me over the years. Can this be dementia?

8 Answers