Stuck in limbo, should I leave my husband?

I think the marriage its pretty toxic. You should really think about leaving to a more happier relationship

If you're not working and are dealing with mental illness this probably isn't the right time to make the decision to divorce. Get into treatment for the depression then once you're capable get a job so you can work toward having the income to consider leaving him .

I just left my ex 8 months ago for everything you have stated above. My oldest does not have any affection for him at all. Are they seeing how he belittler's you? Do you want them to learn that it's ok to be treated that way? I would like to say no. I know it's hard to make the decision, when you are ready you will get it done. Sometimes it takes having an overfilled cup to realize you can't take anymore of the emotional and mental beating. I have been very happy without him for 8 months now and am not turning back.

GET OUT!

With the history you've outlined, there's little prospect of things improving and, if you continue to wait and remain in this situation, you can expect things to continue to get worse. You might want to reconsider that decision.

You describe your situation well as "limbo" because you are caught in a common trap married couples fall into. You each go your own way, doing things the way you want them, while secretly complaining how the other is failing you. You get into a rut blaming the other for virtually everything and never resolving any of your conflicts. Why? Because you have forgotten how to do so or even trying is monumentally difficult that it doesn't seem worth trying. And you know that emotional abuse you claim to get from him, he feels the same way about the way you treat him.

What do you do? Relearn conflict resolution and compromise. Where do you learn it? Couples counseling is a great place, but seeking the same type of counseling from your religious leader (i.e. pastor/priest/rabbi) is a less expensive option. You don't have to seek counseling forever, but just long enough to relearn this essential skill.

But ultimately when you think of leaving your husband … think "would doing so solve anything?" and "would leaving be best for the children?" I mean considering your physical and mental issues, it sounds like you have a lot more reasons to stick around and continue trying. Good Luck.

My first concern is always the kids. You have to realize that kids watch and learn from the people at home. So if they watch your relationship, they learn that this is what a relationship is suppose to be like. I would never want my kids to see that kind of relationship. Personally I would get out of that relationship, and heal yourself, then find a nice loving relationship that your kids can see and they will realize what a good relationship is suppose to look like.

Also, your kids are young. They may be mad, or hate you, but then they grow up into adults that you can talk to and tell them what you went thru and they will understand.