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Can you financially take care of kids, a wife and yourself while starting school all the way to becoming a doctor?

I'm 21 and just getting into college and want to become a doctor. Problem is that I also want to have kids one day and my reproductive health has some issues and I wont be able to have kids by the time I hit my late 20s. Is it possible to have a family while also going to school? Most my friends are having trouble keeping care of themselves much less a family

11 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    Many people attempt it but it's extremely difficult and they usually never graduate. It's extremely hard on your finances as well as physically and emotionally exhausting (even for students without family obligations) and if you manage to pull it off you're my hero.

    Although it'd probably be more realistic for you, at this point, to just take a few classes in your current field of work at a community college or a 4 year school as a non-matriculated student in a non-degree program (which you won't receive financial aid for thus increasing the burden even further).

  • 2 years ago

    I don't think so. I mean, it's possible, but it would be extremely hard/difficult. Because taking care of child is hard and you will need lots of money to support your kid. And it depends on what kind of woman is willing to take care of your child all by herself. It's a little late if you want to become a doctor right now, because you'd have to study more than 5 years in college. Becoming a doctor is a long process. The workload at college will make you study hard all day without having free time to do other stuffs. Unless you find a rich partner who can support your higher education and the child financially, you won't be able to handle all of that. If you're lucky, you can finish school early by earning lots of credits. But you will have to take lots of classes at the same time and do lots of research. You also have to finish your homeworks on time, write lab reports, etc. And what are you going to do with your kid? Make another plan about your career goal and higher education. But freezing sperm sounds like a good idea if you really want to do something about your future.

  • 2 years ago

    You are already behind your competition for admission to premed & eventual medical school. You have 4 year bachelor degree, completing all prerequisites for admission to medical school, to earn. Expect costs of at least $250,000 and expect to work a minimum of 80 hours a week (classes, labs, homework, review sessions, rotations, and more) just on school. If you could ever get into medical school, expect costs of $500,000 and up for the 4 years, and again expect to work a minimum of 80-85 hours a week. Don't expect time to change a diaper.

    Don't expect a spouse - even if your spouse earns $250,000/yr or more - to be able to pay for your school, pay for a baby & baby's care, along with routine living expenses. No spouse who could possibly earn that kind of money has a minute to change a diaper, either. Those who earn high incomes tend to work very long hours. That means hiring a live-in nanny for baby - another huge expense.

    Without vast sums of money and a very incredible support system, don't expect to dump a kid on a stressed-out hard-working spouse.

  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    Anything is possible, at least in theory. Including this. But it will take an enormous amount of hard work and commitment on your part. And whoever you marry will have to put up with a lot, too. Most women (I'm assuming that you're a male Jade here, not a female one) generally don't want to sign on with someone who has to spend all his time studying, taking exams, or away doing lab work for years on end. And having a baby would only make that situation even worse, because you'd have no peace and quiet. Babies take a lot of time, especially in the beginning.

    I think you need to have a serious discussion with your current doctor, and find out if banking your sperm is even a viable option for you. And otherwise, no, I don't think marrying and having a kid while in med school is a smart thing to do. Once you actually get into med school, and particularly after the first two years ( which is when you start your clinical rotations) there will be times when you'll be so exhausted that you won't even be able to remember your own NAME, much less do something as time consuming as take care of a BABY. And you can't assume that your wife will do this, either. She may have other things of her own that she needs to do, and having a baby may not be what she wants, either. My brother is a doctor, so I know what I'm talking about. He didn't marry until he was done with his residency, and he and my sister in law only had their first child this past week- a full seven years after he completed his residency and a decade AFTER he got his medical degree. And my brother is much older than you are or will be when you finish med school.

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  • 2 years ago

    🤔 HELL NO. Not unless you live & have the support of an entire commune.

    Credentials: I'm a nurse & I'm married to an anesthesiologist.

  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    No, not really. Married med students have spouses who work full time, and they usually wait to have children until the residency period at the earliest.

    But the suggestion to freeze your sperm is a good one. You don't have to do it right now.

    Note that if you go to med school right out of college, you could finish at 29. I'm not sure what sorts of fertility issues you have that would make it difficult for you to father a child in, say, your early 30s, but why don't you talk this over with a doctor? It would be best to get professional advice instead of asking random strangers -- non-medical professionals -- online.

  • drip
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    My son in law just got his doctorate in chemistry and is finishing his dissertation. My daughter works and he gets a stipend. They just make it. It has been a long six years and they haven’t had the money to do much. I can not imagine getting pregnant and having an infant through that too. Your wife would need to be working a full time job for health insurance.

    It just wouldn’t be fair to your wife or child. Sure there are people out there who are in medical school that are married and have children. It is very tough on all of them.

    Freeze your sperm. Adopt. Use donor sperm from a family member,

  • !
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    Well, it will depend on if your partner has a full time job, and what they're earning, but the last few years of med school are pretty intense, and you wont be able to hold down even a part time job yourself and still meet the workload, so you'll be at college full time and reliant on others for your finances until you finish your degree

  • 2 years ago

    Freeze your sperm and stay single until you have finished residency and are making a good income.

  • .
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    Yes. It's possible to go to university while you have kids. It's just harder if you don't have a strong support system to help you out.

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