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My bf tells me that I shouldn’t wear certain things what should I do?
We’ve been dating for just two weeks now, I’m american and he’s german. It happened at least 3 times now. The first time was when I was looking at sweatshirts deciding between a pink and a green one. He said I shouldn’t get the green one because it’s too masculine and only he could wear something like that and that the pink would be best for me. The second time was when we were going to go to a techno club. I had a bralette under a sheer top. He said I needed to change because it was “too revealing”. The third time was when my socks “didn’t match my outfit” so I should change them. I feel bad for going along with what he says when I should stand up for myself and put my foot down to show that I can do whatever I want and I have my own opinions and he shouldn’t control them. Also he judged me for going on Instagram for just 2 minutes and said “I’m glad I don’t have Instagram on my phone it’s such a time waster” ok yeah true but don’t judge me for going on just for a short time. I need help and advice on why he’s doing this and what I need to do about it. Seems too controlling. I know germans are sometimes just honest but this is just rude to me.
2 Answers
- Anonymous2 years ago
The reason people get together is because they initially like each other, but when they start trying to dictate to you what you should and shouldn't do or wear, it's a red flag that the relationship is doomed. Some females put up with that but after a while they lose their identity and self esteem. You can just run from him or if you want it to work talk to him about his nitpicking.
- ?Lv 42 years ago
No it's not just him being honest. This is him being controlling and that is the first signs of emotional abuse in a relationship. You are entitled to wear what you want when you want and he should not have any say in the matter. By enabling him to dictate you, you are letting him know that controlling you is okay and it will only make things worse. I was in a toxic relationship like this for years and it got to the point where he made me feel if I didn't have him I'd have no one. Had I known what I do now I would've left at the first signs of this behaviour. Don't ever change yourself for someone because you think things will be different or that they will love you more. They won't because you were never enough to start with, but for someone you will be just as you are and that's worth waiting for.
