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How to write a scene with sunrise and a girl?
She's sitting by a cliff, legs dangling over as she looks over a forest with a small lake below her and a town past the forest. The sun is slowly rising. There is a boy next to her, he unknowingly is in love with her and stares at her beauty.
I don't know how to write a scene like that, some tips or example paragraphs will help me greatly.
P.S
The girl has brown morning hair and wearing a black hoodie and trousers, she's also really pale. She has hazel eyes and also thin.
3 Answers
- MarliLv 79 months agoFavorite Answer
I will risk bluebellbkk's umbrage and disagree with her. A young man would know he is attracted to the young woman, but he might not know that he he is in love with her.
The description of the scene should convey the mood. There may be bird trills, a soft warm or cool breeze, the scents of the forest trees, the clear, still water of the lake. The girl is relaxed, gazing at the view. She senses the boy staring at her. She smiles, conscious that he longs for her. The description is as much of her as of the lake and the forest lighted by the rising sun.
The boy doesn't notice his surroundings. He is caught by her beauty and drinks it in. Maybe he too is calm. Maybe his mood is in contrast to the calm scene. The breeze can't cool his forehead. He wants to speak to the girl, but his mouth is dry, and he can’t find the words he wants. He thinks, " Does she want me, like I want her? Does she even notice how I want her? Does she regard me me as more than a casual friend?" The outside calm underlines his lack of calm within.
- Elaine MLv 79 months ago
the reader to focus. This is part of the craft of writing, the author guides the reader. YOU decide what you want to emphasize to make a scene work.
- MsBittnerLv 79 months ago
The reason you can't write a scene like this is because what you've described is a snapshot, no more than an image in your mind's eye.
(I take umbrage at your notion that a guy has no idea he's in love, unless he's a dolt.)
What these people and the setting look like is far less important that who they are and what happens to or between them. A scene has to fulfill one of two purposes: either it illuminates character, so the reader knows more about the person, or it advances the plot.
FWIW, I rarely mention what a character is wearing unless it impacts character. Andrew starts wearing stiff new pants because he's gained weight. Cheri's fancy lingerie stays in the drawer because the bras' cups are too big now. In the privacy of his home, Wyatt wears western shirts like his dad's. Like that.
So what happens in your scene? Does she nearly fall and he saves her? Does he leap to his death? Does the cliff crumble beneath them? Does the nearby town have a catastrophic fire visible from a distance? Does he realize he loves her? Does she reject him? What *happens*?