How can I find a (pet) cat which prefers women to men? ?

Cats don't care about your gender. Cats love whoever is good to them, whether they're male or female. 

I have 3 Siamese 2 male 1 female, they love both my wife and me equal they always sit on both our laps, lay on us lay by our feet etc.!

Get a kitten, and just you hold it, don't let no guys near it

cats already do that on their own. I suppose it is the way women act that makes cats more comfortable with them. Cats treat their owners as their mothers, and women have a motherly instinct. That is why little girls play with dolls.

Sex of the cat makes no difference. Your best bet is to feed the cat, give it treats, play with it and spend more time with it. If your husband does those things the cat will probably like him better. 

u could and she will be a lesbian

It won't make any difference what gender the cat is. They're all independent and have their own ideas about who they like or not.  Male or female.

It s because you scare them.