My boyfriend cheated on me 6 months ago...I don't know what to do? ?

Question

my boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 4 years and have lived together for 6 months. (keep in mind that he did live in an apartment for a year before and I would stay most nights)

I found out he cheated on me. I didnt know if he'd be honest with me so I checked his phone. I came across messages dating from February this year!  It transpired they had been having a casual relationship for 2 months, she had been coming down to the apartment they would have sex and then she'd leave. I don't know how many times this happened! It was 90% about sex and as far as I know it ended in May.

Anyway our relationship was rough around that time, I was having problems which made sex very painful and so we rarely did it. This did cause tension in our relationship and we fought a lot! But things have improved majorly now! We just spent Christmas with each others families, and have been talking about going on holidays for our anniversary in July.

I am so torn apart, on one hand I want to end things, he has betrayed me in a way no one else could, but it was also months ago and everything is good now and I love him with all my heart and I want to be with him.

Ps this girl knew we were still going out and I have met her before when she was in a relationship with my boyfriends friend (whom she cheated on several times)

Any advice or stories are welcome x

? · Accepted Answer

Only you can decide whether or not you are able to get past this.  When trust is broken, you have to decide what, exactly, your boyfriend needs to do in order to rebuild your trust.  If there is nothing he can do -- if you are unable to let this go -- then you need to break up and move on.  Same is true if he is unwilling to do the things you feel are needed to rebuild that trust.

The bigger issues that you suspected him. That means that there have been on-going signs of a problem. People in serious, committed relationships don't have a booty calls with their upstairs neighbor if they can't have sex for a couple of months.

IF you two are serious about saving your relationship, then you need to get professional couples counseling.  If you two aren't willing to make that commitment, you might as well move on.

Foofa · Answer

You're dating someone not mature enough to handle the ups and downs of a longterm relationship. There will be times in life when a woman can't have vaginal penetrative sex. Medical problems, pregnancy, childbirth, etc. will all cut into your ability to have that specific kind of sex with him. If his reaction to this is to just find someone else your relationship will suffer. But it's up to you whether or not you want to stay with such a fair weather lover as this guy.

T J · Answer

You get him out of your life. He will do it again. He will be more careful to not get caught. Better now, before a wedding. He will do it every time things get rough?  Let him go.

? · Answer

Hook up with one of his friends, then dump him

Anonymous · Answer

Drop him, move on!
Once a trust is broken it can never be really healed. You will always have doubt. So don't torture yourself. Get a new BF

Spots don't change on the leopard.

Anonymous · Answer

He cheated because you and him were fighting? Relationships have fights, you can't avoid it. It doesn't mean he should go and cheat. Will you accept that he might cheat every time you and him have a rough spot in the relationship? A strong man doesn't cheat when the woman he loves is going through a tough time, a strong man stands by her side.

God · Answer

IF you want to stay with him you need to have a sit-down with him and tell him that he will get only one second chance.  If anything like this ever happens again it's over.

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My boyfriend cheated on me 6 months ago...I don't know what to do? ?

7 Answers