Why does nothing work? (Read description)?

If you keep swinging for the fences your going to keep striking out. Make a sound investment plan with a focus on high quality dividend growing stocks. Set a series of easily achievable goals so you can start stacking successes.  A job becomes far more fulfilling when it is a tool helping you reach your goals, its miserable when its something you go to without improving your lot in life.  

You are 100% committed to finding the easy.  Money for Nothing was a song by Dire Straits in 1985.   You can just kiss it all goodbye until you wake up and fly right.  Should that ever happen, pick a career and do anything and everything to get the education that career requires.  btw  Day trading and penny stock is for morons.  Knock it the hell off.

It sounds like you are being impatient. Very few, if anyone, makes it to where they dont need a 9-5. If you werent born into wealth, the only fast way you will get it is by winning a lottery or inheriting it. So stop killing yourself, relax and know that this isnt going to happen for you anytime soon. Stocks take some time and your growing knowledge. You took advice from someone that probably already makes their good money. Im wondering if you appropriately know how to evaluate a company. I recommend learning about that rather than following a chart which is only good for day trading. Learn slow before you learn fast. Sticking with the slow will allow you to learn some things and then maybe much later get into day trading. I want to retire from my job as well, although I rather like my job. Youve got to have money to make more money. Im thinking hundreds of thousands before you think about retiring from a 9-5.Go to wikipedia.com to learn about fundamental stock investing. Remember what youve been taught already, but still start with a clean slate. If what you already know applies, keep it, but you should start anew. The old ways didnt help you much. Stick with it, apply new, different knowledge and accept that it takes many years. You went with long term investing, its working for you and thats what most of the rest of us do. Rome was not built in a day.

You probably should try something OTHER than investing. Apparently, you're not good enough at the ups and downs, and you can't afford to lose. If you can't afford to lose every cent you invest, you should NOT INVEST.  The stock market is ALWAYS a gamble. You can't count on it to make money. Even those who invest huge sums lose occasionally--the trick they have is that they have enough capital in other places so the losses aren't as painful. But they lose anyway--no one consistently wins in stocks. 

Why do you think there are better ways to live than punching a time clock?  Many people find it not only a fine way to live, but the most secure and consistent way to live. There's nothing shameful or wrong with it. You're just looking to make big money very fast--and that's always a recipe for MASSIVE RISK.  Unless you have lots of surplus money laying around, you're going to find it a struggle; a long, slog and an uphill climb before you POSSIBLY hit the big time. Most people never do. 

Investing isn't for everyone. Also--people who want to begin investing to build a portfolio that does last a longer time visit a certified financial advisor to find out what investments are the most lucrative OVER TIME--and that's the key. It's always OVER TIME. Not immediate. No matter how many courses you take, no matter what you try, you have to understand that fact. Nothing happens overnight. 

I would suggest you do that, at least, if you want to continue with investments--you need a better strategy than simply trying all the 'cool' things you hear about. Find out how you can BUILD wealth, not get it right away. If you don't agree, then take your investment money and visit a casino somewhere or play the lottery--because that's about the same odds of winning. 

The stock market is a legalized gambling arena, no different than a casino. The people who win have inside knowledge. Don't think that stock trading is a legitimate form of making money. Keep working your day job, or start a small business when the economy picks up. Either way, it means working hard.

How about getting a job, working hard, saving money and putting half of any raise you get into a ROTH IRA? 

Short of inventing something, you are not supposed to get rich fast, but you can with time. 

Work, for it!

You obviously hate what you do, so find something else to do. If you want to get somewhere QUICK then you have to work, for it. I saw with my own eyes people getting rich quickly, but they are NOT stupid like you.

The people who I saw invest in themselves. Do you understand what I said?

If you can't do what I said, and this is a possibility then you were born to be a follower instead of a leader!!!

Investing in yourself well you might think this is easy to do, but it's not. Trust me on this one. I am investing in myself, and I trying to keep on investing in myself.

You said you spent endless amounts of money on courses, but it's obvious to me that you screwed up here. Because you have NO goals!

All you are thinking about is the stock market, and I think you look like a fool. I personally think you won't get anywhere in life by investing in the stock market.

I never invested anything in the stock market. I am investing my money in me, so I can grow, and I am also the type of person who likes to save money too.

I took courses too. The difference between you, and me is that I have more goals, and you don't have anything.

That's because you're expecting to get rich quick and expect sales and marketing to be easy.  

It sounds like you have bounced around a lot, that you expect a fast return or success and when you don’t get it you bounce to something else. If you want income replacement, you may be better to look into something like real estate and being a landlord. It’s not as exciting as day trading, and there is still a fair amount of work involved, but it can be profitable enough to replace a 9-5 job if you do it well enough.

Time (i.e., compounding) works.

I have consistently invested in index stocks for 25 years.  I hold these assets in tax advantaged accounts (i.e., Roth IRA/401K); despite the limits on the amounts that can be invested in retirement accounts, I now have enough that I can safely take a $50K annual payout for the rest of my life.Like you, I spent about a decade reading finance and investing books, until I realized the were all saying the same basic thing -- and the same thing that Warren Buffet has always said: Buy and hold a diverse portfolio of stocks.  The "hold" part is the difficult piece.  You won't double your money overnight, but you will double your money about every eight or nine years.