What do I do when someone comes to my house and gets intoxicated on vodka? He throws up on my bed. He won't leave now. ?

If someone drinks in your house that means you're also involved into it with your guest!

Treat your guest as you would want to be treated. 

Honey, when you are ready for guests to leave, you put on a pot of coffee and stop serving alcohol.  If ANYONE came to my house and got THAT drunk, I'd be putting them in an Uber real fast.  

Yeah, 9-1-1 that boy.

Call the police and have him removed.

YOU wake up and realize that you are dreaming and being a troll. 

You call for the police or ambulance to come get him.

If he is behaving then let him sleep it off.If he is not behaving and is threatening or something along those lines then call the police.

Drag hisass outside and let him freeze or sober up and leave or pour a gallon of iced-water over his head then smack his knees with a bat or big spoon and tell him to go or the cops will be called.

ask the police to get him out

Call the cops. Get him out. Lock the door.