Is it wrong if I think male domestic violence is worse than female domestic violence?

Yes, completely wrong.  You've clearly never looked into lesbian domestic violence, have you?

It isn't inherently wrong per say, but it is misguided. Both acts should be considered the same depending on how far it goes. A woman can still do just as much as a man can with abuse, even if it's less common. An issue with female abusers is that often it isn't considered abuse or people can get away with it easier. I'm a woman and was sexually abused by another woman when I was 6 up until I was 10, and the abuser still hasn't received any consequences because she is another girl and she wasn't much older than me.

I think saying that in all cases, male abusers are always worse than female, is wrong. Not all cases are the same, and it just depends on what actually happened between all different cases.

Yes, you would be wrong.  I worked in a domestic violence shelter.  The files for the male victims filled one drawer in one file cabinet. The files for the female victims filled EIGHT full file cabinets. 

Right and wrong has become purely subjective in our amoral culture and no matter what you say there'll be someone ready to shout you down. 

yes it is wrong because violence is violence and it is against the law.  have you ever heard of women who are taller and weigh more than males?  There are many, you can have a mountain of man who is gentler than many skinny little women and vice versa.  What does domestic violence have to do with racist acts?  

Yes. Very wrong. You're deemphasizing vicious, brutal behavior just because it happens to be a woman doing it. And it's completely unrealistic to make it all about strength and "intimidation," since, as you admit, there ARE such things as weapons and other tools.

And you know, domestic violence doesn't only happen between partners. My own mother used to beat my sister and myself (I'm male) using a loop of wire as a whip. If I heard you say nonsense like that in person, _I_ would just smile wryly and show you some of my scars (not all of them, some are in pretty intimate places), but talk that way in front of my sister and she just might hit you in the head with a stick.

And THAT, _I_ would deemphasize, because "there are worse things."

"Is it wrong if I think male domestic violence is worse than female domestic violence?"

It isn't necessarily wrong or right.  But it's not a belief in equality.  You want to confer the same rights onto women without the same responsibilities.  You correctly brought children into the discussion stating that they should be treated differently.  And they are.  Children are not emancipated adults that enjoy the same rights and responsibilities.  We only give adults equal rights with the idea that they also take on equal responsibilities.

So why are we going to privilege women just because men -in general- are stronger and can cause more damage?  Should we do the same for men who are below a certain height and below a certain weight?  Should weak men be treated preferentially to other men?  Or just women??  How far do we go with different treatment for different people?  Why did we bother with equality if we are now wanting to back peddle?

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Along that theory, the smaller a victim is, the lighter he or she is, the weaker he or she is, the more of a crime, from your point of view, it is.

Worse still (at least from the morass of legal bright lines suddenly blurred), the more intimidated the victim is REGARDLESS of the ACTUAL threat, the worse the crime is.

Worse still, you can imagine saying that the perpetrator's perception, determining the extent of the malice, is actually the key thing here.  That is, it isn't the actual potential damage, it isn't the victim's perception of the possible damage, it is the perpetrator's perception of the victim's perception of the possible damage.

Think about it in other venues:  If I think that stealing the pills in somebody's medicine cabinet will inconvenience them, but they actually depend on them to survive and it causes them to die, have I committed simple theft or reckless homicide?

Now -MY- perception of "reasonable" determines what crime I am charged with.

So if a huge guy screams in pain because he dropped an iron his foot, it can be incredibly intimidating to a small, weak person in a wheel chair.  Has the huge guy committed a crime?  His perception has little to do with the victim.

I see where you are coming from, but the actual nature of the law (liking bright lines) simply wouldn't work with that mentality.

I think the best you can do is ask if the abuser knowingly intimidated the victim - and even THAT is pretty gray.

Untrue, ask my nurse Kampala

Yes it wrong and quite frankly a dangerous attitude to have

Domestic violence by both parties is abhorrent and to pit one against the other as if it were a competition is also an abhorrent thing to do

Both issues need to be addressed in my opinion but its attitudes like yours i believe is the reason why there are 8 shelters for female DV victims in my city while the nearest shelter for male DV victims is in another city 6 hours drive from my location which has 12 female shelters and 1 male shelter