Mum wants to take back my savings.?

Question

Okay so I'm 18, in uni and am moving out in about a months time. My bank account was upgraded a couple years ago and I then had access to £1,500 in savings that my mum has added to plus my christening, communion, birthday money, etc. I don't really touch it and when I do I replace it in time other than £500 that was used for car insurance which was agreed.

So on to the situation at hand, I need a guarantor to move out (just for myself, my housemates not included) and asked my mum to be it as she meets the criteria. She refused for a while and then give me the option of if she's to be my guarantor then I give her £500 of my savings to put away then she will be. However, she knows if I give her that then I cannot move out as I'll be using it for rent until my next uni loan instalment is paid as I'm on half of my normal salary due to covid and I have to pay a deposit for the property.

After an argument over the money I told her that no I didn't want her to be my guarantor then as she knew it would mean I couldn't move out. So this continued for a while and she's now demanding that I give her the full grand and a half which I do not have especial since £500 of it is completely gone for things she agreed to.

At the end of the day the vast majority of the money is my own from the celebrations I listed above. Although she's tryna say she's put a fiver a week in since I was born which just doesn't add up in the slightest either.

What should I do?

chris n · Accepted Answer

You are a fool.  You don't mind taking all this money from your mother but as soon as she disagrees with you you turn it all into a huge drama....which it isn't.  YOU have escalated this small argument to such an extent that hard words have been spoken and now your mother wants all the cash she's put towards your savings over the years.  Not exactly rocket science is it and you've been to Uni.  You should have gone to silly school instead.  Basically she LOVES you and doesn't want to lose you.  You aren't as bright as you think you are.....this argument is an illustration on how little you are aware of human nature....and have turned this lack of cash into some HUGE drama.  You are waiting for yet another Uni loan.  What's to stop you getting a job and putting your earnings into a separate savings account to pay for what you want instead of waiting for handouts.  Despite being 18 I don't think you are street-wise enough to move out yet.  You don't even know how to be independent at all.  It's either mother or Uni for accommodation and only one bank account.  Duh???

Me · Answer

Don’t give it to her. You’re 18 and moving out

? · Answer

You can only do what she'll agree to, as long as you want her as your guarantor. Or, find another one. Good luck,

Jane · Answer

It's true that many landlords demand a guarantor such as a parent, when young people take on a rental contract, especially in a shared student house. However, many will also be happy with over 18's if you can pay a deposit and rent in advance- sounds like you may have enough to do that. 
Shop around the area you plan to live in, look beyond landlords that only rent to students, especially as you also have income from a job despite covid.

P · Answer

You are creating your own issues by being impatient.  She is taking on a lot of risk by being the guarantor.  You wait until you have enough money saved to move out.  While it is your money, draining the little savings you have to move out sooner will just create more problems in the future.   Perhaps she's not very confident you will be able to make rent with your current situation so she's trying to make sure you don't put her in a bad situation being the guarantor.  She should not have to come up with the extra money to cover you if things don't go to plan.  I don't like making assumptions but it doesn't sound like she has a lot of extra money sitting around.  If she's living paycheck to paycheck herself you are asking a lot more than you think.

T J · Answer

Take all of your money out of the account, close it. Open a new account with just your name on it. Keep looking for someone else to help you or keep looking for a place that does not require a guarantor. Your MUM is playing you, to keep you at home.

Foofa · Answer

You haven't cited any reason why it's essential that you move out right at this moment so Mum is probably just looking at how uncertain the economy is right now and wanting to have a cushion for guaranteeing your rent just in case her financial situation changes (which is highly likely as nations struggle with pandemic devastation to their bottom lines). It's not like there are flatmates waiting on you and it's not like you don't have an income at all. So keep working whatever hours you're able to and save up so you can both reassure Mum and still put the down payment on your own place. It is quite bold and optimistic of you to think this is a good time to move out, perhaps overly so given the current state of things in the UK.

? · Answer

Now is not always.    Save until you have another £500.   Good training for the long term.   It may not feel that way now but your Mum is being very wise and supportive

? · Answer

I think you are too close to the situation to see what is really going on.  This dispute is not about money.

You are planning to move out soon.  You need money to do that.  Your mother is FULLY AWARE that you need money to move out.  Her actions clearly indicate she is doing all she can to make sure that you do not have access to the money you need to move out.

Basically, your mum is not wanting you to move out.  Which is EXACTLY why you SHOULD move out...

sᴛᴀʀsᴇᴇᴅ · Answer

Take whats yours weather she likes it or not. She sounds like a toxic mother. What kind of mother wouldn't want her own child to succeed? Take what's yours and ignore her. Move out and stay away from her.

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Mum wants to take back my savings.?

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