Friend used me?

Question

This happened to me a while back but I would like some opinions on the matter:

I have a female friend who has a 5 year old daughter from a previous relationship. My friend started dating a new man and insist he join us everytime we do anything such as lunch which usually means we have to wait for him.

Anyways, one day I suggest we do something nice for her daughter and take her to a movie. My friend agreed and didn't ask if her boyfriend can go which surprised me. We get to the theater and got to our seats. I go to get some popcorn and return at which point she looks at her phone, looks at me and says "you won't believe this, (insert boyfriend's name) is here too!"

"What do you mean he's here too?" I ask. We both turn around and see him sitting there by himself with an empty seat next to him. He smiles and waves. My friend then says she doesn't want him to sit by himself so she ask if I wouldn't mind sitting with her daughter while she herself kept him company during the movie. I was shocked but reluctantly agreed.

After the movie is over we all meet in the lobby and he claims that this was unplanned and he just "felt like coming out to see this movie." My friend claims it was not pre-planned and pure coincidence.

I mean, it's pretty obvious that she used me but I don't know how to tell her without getting into a fight. Suggestions?

? · Answer

It's OK to tell your friend that you know she had sneakily arranged to meet Boyfriend at the movies and you're not happy to know she'd stoop to such unbecoming behavior. It's OK to tell her that you wouldn't mind seeing less of Boyfriend and if that means you'll be seeing less of her then so be it.

Perhaps you'd like to a with the child sometimes, freeing the mother to pursue her own ... pursuits. And the child will report back to Mama and Boyfriend about what a wonderful time she has with you and how marvelous you are. That will make them both a bit jealous of you. And you be gaining a new friend in that child.

My guess is with a mother like that, the kid will be NEEDING friends. Please do not drop out of this little girl's life just because Mama is a piece of work.

Anonymous · Answer

She’s at fault for
 using you and Youre at fault for letting her use you and taking her out to begin with.

Don’t involve yourself in single/take mama’s drama. Too much work for too little outcomeLearn to say no to ridiculous requestsFind a new friend and go out with themAnd don’t expect anyone to leave their significant other to hang out with you

Janet · Answer

She didn't use you.
YOU offered to take her to the movies.
Her bf being there might have been deceptive, but that is not using you.
Besides, since she has a bf, don't expect to see her without him. That may be the ONLY way she can keep her friendship with you AND keep her bf too.  You are not in a relationship with this woman ... you are just friends.

As for what to DO about this, say nothing unless you want to lose the friendship.
You should understand by now that anytime she sees you, her boyfriend will be there too. Either you find that acceptable or you need to find a friendship with someone else.

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Friend used me?

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