NONAME

But scafed he say no ) of having it but knowing me after a good week

You’ll start to see a lot of things that relate to adhd gyperness and or inattentive ness

Whether it be me never completing a task, as basic as it is or me being unable to pay attention to my own words while I speak, I’ll forget what I’m saying half way through

I lose too many things, I’ve lost my glasses multiple tones

My phone everyday like clock work

Right before I leave the house to get to work

Forget to load directions to work

I’m messy af

I can only present myself well enough to get a job for a limited of time then slowly but surely I can’t hold myself together

I start to take longer than normal to finish something

My McDonald’s job was mess

I didn’t finish taking orders or I would take an order than make a cofffe but wouldmiss to take an order

I couldn’t multi task in drive through, when everybody else could take an order and count change

I can barely count change by myself staring at it

I’m sometimes slower than slow or smarter than smart

I try so hard but I always come off as inadequate

So many more examples I could give

My biggest issue isn’t school or home life

It’s now work life cuz me not being able to function like a productive normal 20 year old is getting in the way of work and I can’t keep quitting when I realize I can’t do a job or wait until my shifts get cut because I suck,only ever get stay 4monthsISH, cuz I’m Lowkey chills/personable but that doesn’t always fly/last.

Others around me believe in me

But I just constantly think I’m garbage/trash

So I don’t even try st things I want so bad

How can I be confident and stop holding myself back??

I quit a canvassing job (for sick kids ) because I didn’t want to wear makeup everyday

But these people in just 5 days made me feel so

Beautiful, confident smart and just content with who I was

I felt like I finally found my home, my people, a place where I was seen in a good light

Like in McDonald’s I used to be yelled at by customers and made fun of for messing up (not being trained properly) and I hated myself with a passion

That place made me feel as if I was too stupid to be working there

And the previous job before that was retail, and this real sleezy manager used to grab my arm yell at me

Tell me how Terrible and disrespectful I am

I was just talked down to all the time

But at this new canvassing job door to door

I felt so alive, seen as an actual person

I was given respect

The boss liked me a lot, he called me sharp, and beautiful ahahaha

And my trainer was like my bff she was tooo nice to me

She bought me coffee

She texted me saying nice things like “I believe in you, you have what it takes “

Honestly it was just everything I wanted in a coworker place

be like “she quit” but at the same time I didn’t want to go because I wore makeup everyday like I was breaking out

It was suicide to my skin

But it’s been 1 week and half since I quit, without a good excuse, I just told the boss through a text wasn’t for me thanks for the opportunity etc”

But I regret it so bad

My older sister has been forcing me to do stuff all day

Clean clean clean

Take off the sound off your phone

Like I’m a clean person, I know when to clean

But right when I wake up in the morning

And the first things out of her mouth is “we’re cleaning the room today, and make sure you wash your plates”

I just woke up, of course I’m dead tired and of course I say. “Not now I’ll do it later “

And she gets so mad she’s like “give me an exact time or I’m telling”

I didn’t give her an exact time cuz I would do it when I felt like it, which was in 6 hours

Cuz honestly I’m tired, I have insomnia and I only sleep rarely like twice a week

And I have iron defiencey, I’m not trying to make an excuse but when I saw I’m exhausted it’s like when you wake up in the morning, and you her alarm sound, yeah that’s how it is for me all day everyday

But whatever she tells my mom and says “she’s not gonna do the dishes”

Then my mom talks to me and says “do it”

And I told her “no I’ll do it later and thags what I told her I didn’t say I wasn’t ”

Then my mom was like “clean it, honestly don’t worry just do it now what’s th big deal get it over with “

I said “I’m sorry I’ll do it later”

That’s when my mom came at me and tried to attack me I had to block the door and she was trying to hit a hangar at me directed to my face, all she could do was scratch my arms

Or should I just wear it for my parents/in case I get caught

I really don’t want the stress of getting caught

Or being outed to my parents by someonelse

To distract me from my studies

But I also know I have to take it off cuz it’s driving me insane

I don’t want to wear and I never have

I would like to be religious it’s jusy appearance wise that irritates me so much

Idk what’s the smart move here

I’m thinking of just not wearing it and if it goes bad put on the following semester

It’s just 3 months for the summer semester

Plus I’ll be commuting from my home

I'm good with memorization but terrible with bio

But I think I can push myself to actually study

Because I remeber bio in grade 12 I was so lazy and I was struggling

This school offers nursing and there's a prep course that just requires an A in English

And I have that

But I thought my hopes of becoming a nurse was over after bio so I felt lost for 6 months after grade 12

Then I convinced myself that I should become a lawyer because English is something I'm good at

Plus I like being the one to help someone

And I love dressing professionally 😂

Now I'm conflicted cuz I want something with job security

And everything about law school people are saying "don't go to law school""can't find jobs"

I'm too scared and always will y someone when I go shopping watch a movie

Out to eat

Help

Im19

Im still going to fast. For a couple of days regardless but I'm just concerned because if it could lead to serious health consequences then probably won't do t

I want to fast for at least 3 weeks

But realistically I know I can get through 7 days before my mother spazzes out/finds out

I'm 19, yes ik immature but I want to cleanse my body and lose 30 pounds because some how sadly along the way of growing up I now base my happiness on looks and I hate the way I look and I hate myself so

Water fasting it is.

I weight 135

And I'm 5'8

What was life like for you at that age

You know when people know in their hearts what they wanna do or when they're so lost in life, the fall into something

I feel like I'm destined to commit suicide

And I know it's wrong to think but I'm so over this ******** life

I just want to be happy but I don't have the courage

I'm about to be 19 years old and I have have as many rights as an 8 year old

I don't want to break my moms heart by living cuz then I wouldn't be able to enjoy life

And I can't leave because I know my dad has really bad high pressure

So I feel stuck being a slave and obeying their ****** up laws

I can't live like this anymore and I just don't know what to do

Out of all my siblings they failed my parents

And they always tell me how I'm their last hope

Honestly I wish I wasn't me

Hopefully no math or bio is needed to get into whatever bachelor program

I really want to learn how to drive so I have to learn with my dad but he's like

"If you drive with me you have to wear a skirt, you can never wear pants infront of me "

I'm 18