What should my plan be moving forward ? How to get out ? Without failing? I’m 19 and my mom wanted to attack me because I said “no”?

Question

My older sister has been forcing me to do stuff all day 
Clean clean clean
Take off the sound off your phone

Like I’m a clean person, I know when to clean
But right when I wake up in the morning 
And the first things out of her mouth is “we’re cleaning the room today, and make sure you wash your plates”
I just woke up, of course I’m dead tired and of course I say. “Not now I’ll do it later “ 
And she gets so mad she’s like “give me an exact time or I’m telling” 
I didn’t give her an exact time cuz I would do it when I felt like it, which was in 6 hours 
Cuz honestly I’m tired, I have insomnia and I only sleep rarely like twice a week 
And I have iron defiencey, I’m not trying to make an excuse but when I saw I’m exhausted it’s like when you wake up in the morning, and you her alarm sound, yeah that’s how it is for me all day everyday

But whatever she tells my mom and says “she’s not gonna do the dishes” 
Then my mom talks to me and says “do it”
And I told her “no I’ll do it later and thags what I told her I didn’t say I wasn’t ” 
Then my mom was like “clean it, honestly don’t worry just do it now what’s th big deal get it over with “

I said “I’m sorry I’ll do it later” 
That’s when my mom came at me and tried to attack me I had to block the door and she was trying to hit a hangar at me directed to my face, all she could do was scratch my arms

? · Accepted Answer

What is stopping you from striking out on your own, honey?  You'll need to make some money to support yourself, but that's what everyone has to do, or most of us.  You can postpone school or go part time. You can find a room mate to share expenses. You could rent a room or a back yard cottage in someone else's home, or even trade housekeeping or child care services for room and board. Or, you can get a job doing almost anything, to establish your freedom and independence. It may be a bit early for you, but staying at home with this situation makes it much more attractive to become independent asap.

You should be working with a physician about your iron deficiency rather than self medicating with over the counter iron pills. You can go to a sliding scale clinic, or if you have a job that offers medical insurance, that should help .

Sweetie, no matter how awfully your sister has been treating you, and she has, your mother's abusiveness is even worse. Do you have friends, relatives, or a father who could help you ? Could you stay with any of them?
Good luck and good wishes, and...BON VOYAGE !

Pearl L · Answer

you need to move out if your mom is going to try and attack you like that

Anonymous · Answer

I agree it's strange that your mom lets your sister tell you what to do, but what we think doesn't matter.  Your mom can run her home any way she wants.

The best revenge is to get out of that home before your sister does. She doesn't sound very happy either, but it's wrong to take it out on you.  So get back at her by leaving.

At 19, you're free to do this.  You may have to work a couple part time jobs to get it done, and if you're in college, you may have to take a gap year.  If you decide it's too much effort and you'd rather be at home, fine.  But then you kind of lose your right to complain.  At 19, you are living there by choice, not because you have to.

Amz · Answer

uhmm.. they make over -the-counter iron tablets... you should be taking them.

Rick B · Answer

Why do you wave dirty plates if you just woke up?  Why is your room messy if you just woke up?  Clean as you go.  Don't go to bed unless you have done all your chores.

You are 19; you are an adult.  Quit living like a child.  If you can't follow the rules there, move out on your own.

Anonymous · Answer

Get your own place if it's that bad for you.

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What should my plan be moving forward ? How to get out ? Without failing? I’m 19 and my mom wanted to attack me because I said “no”?

6 Answers