Secret Beauty

fotos: <br>

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=7956676871... <br>

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https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=8095359990...

1. Do I obsess too much about my diet? I weigh 130 lbs., I'm 16 (I'll be 17 in about a month), I wear a size 7, and I'm 5'7". I don't think I need to lose a ton more weight, but every pound I lose just makes me feel better. I've lost 20 pounds since August. I can never get myself to eat fast food because it's vile, overly processed, fat-ridden sludge. I know that's good, but I can't even stand to be around anyone when they eat it. I also beat myself up a lot after my cheat days because I feel like I'm living up to the stereotype of being a pig. Most times when I eat, I feel really insecure because the obesity rate is really high, and I hate that people in other countries stereotype me as being fat and make fun of me. I always think I eat too much because of this. I won't starve myself though because of how many people in the world don't have food, so that seems really selfish. Sometimes losing weight feels addictive. I can never forgive myself when I gain a pound. A lot of my friends and people at school are naturally like a size 0 too. My mom is a vegetarian, my sisters have always been a couple pounds lighter than me, and my dad is a runner and a doctor, so I feel pressured to make better choices. I'm not just doing this out of guilt though. I'm on a diet to feel and be healthier, and I feel a lot better.

2. Also, is my diet/exercise ok? I figure it is, since I lost 20 lbs. already.

-For breakfast, I usually have multigrain Cheerios or whole wheat toast with butter or homemade jam and either coffee (with soymilk for protein and sugar) or juice and some fruit. I eat a lot of whole grains because they're less processed and more filling.

-I don't have a specific plan for lunch or dinner, but I avoid anything fried. I've been trying to get in more veggies too.

-I almost never eat red meat or pork.

-I limit junk food to 2-3 days a week, depending on how much junk I eat a day.

-All I drink is water, except for at breakfast.

-I use a treadmill 20 min. 3 days a week and do 50 sit-ups every day. Sometimes I look up workout videos on Youtube.

-I come with my parents to the grocery store, so that's another 30-45 min. walk once a week.

-I never count calories because it makes me feel deprived.

-I never eat things straight out of the container.

-I take a biotin supplement for hair, skin, and nails every day. It also has some other vitamins and calcium.

people call me fat and ugly all the time and I'M SICK OF IT! i wear makeup and stuff but i still feel ugly:( people on facebook WHO DON'T KNOW ME post stuff like "best feature: personality" on my timeline just to find a "nice" way of calling me ugly and IT'S OBVIOUS.

https://si0.twimg.com/profile_images/2652949579/c8...

also am i fat? i'm 5'7 and i dont feel comfortable sharing my weight. you can guess if you want to. i wont be offended lol

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.13736758...

i'm the not short one xP also what do you like about my appearance? if you're gonna say i'm asking this for attention, don't bother answering cuz you will be reported. don't judge me cuz i have been (and still am) bullied all my life,

thanks for the answers guys<3

i'm 16 and i have 2 sisters. we repeat outfits often cuz a lot of our clothes are either too small, stretched out, or we just don't like them anymore. i'm tired of wearing the same clothes all the time. my dad NEVER takes us shopping. even if we go during the summer he makes us put everything away for Christmas. we can afford new clothes but my parents are cheap.i would buy clothes myself but i accidentally broke my sister's doorknob my dad used all my money to fix it:( also i don't have a job. my mom is going to take us but my parents are divorced and i need new stuff to wear at my dad's.

first of all i know there are a lot of people who have worse lives than me. people say i complain too much so if you either say that or suggest i get counseling, I WILL REPORT YOU. like most people my age (i'm 16) I HATE THE WAY I LOOK. i have brown hair and hazel eyes. that makes me inferior to the blonde, blue-eyed girls our culture idolizes. i'm so pale, i'd be albino if i was any lighter. i can't tan in the sun cuz i get freckles. i use fake tanner but that doesn't make me any less ugly. i also have a really big head. my eyes are nothing special. they're really small, and i've worn glasses ever since i could remember. i also have short, straight eyelashes. i'd get contacts but i'd look bad with those too. i have really hairy eyebrows that people always make fun of but my parents won't let me get them waxed. my skin is VERY oily, i have horrible acne and a pasty complexion. i've tried everything. my hair is naturally wavy, thick, and frizzy too. not even totally curly, just wavy and I HATE IT. i'm so flat chested. i wear size 34B bras but i have huge rolls of stomach fat, big hips, a big butt, and thunder thighs. i'm 5'7" and i weigh between 140-150 lbs. https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.13736758... (i'm the girl who's not blonde)

I'M A COMPLETE NOBODY. everyone either ignores me at school or treats me like crap. i'm lucky to get 5 likes on a facebook status, while all the popular girls get like 100. i have like 3 friends that come over to my house. my parents are divorced (they've been since i was 5) but i can only have friends over at my dad's.i don't know if its true but my mom and one of my sisters tells me my friends are using me.i'm gullible so sometimes i believe them.when i'm at my mom's, i stay up in my room all day alone feeling rejected and crying.i used to have some acquitances from my youth group but they never talk to me.they're such close friends that its awkward talking to them.when i ask anyone from youth to hang,they're always busy.im awkward and suck at making friends.i've been bullied for most of my life. i've never kissed anyone. boys think i'm ugly, a nerd, and awkward.

MY FAMILY HATES ME.i have 2 sisters and a brother and they always exclude me.they play video games and i want to play too but my brother is REALLY GOOD so i got sick of losing.none of my sibs will make the games easier for me.i know there just games but losing a lot makes me feel like i'm a failure.im the most outgoing person in my family and that makes me feel awkward cuz im so different.im shy compared to normal people though.my parents blame everything on me.im the most innocent, naive person at school and my mom thinks im a rebel when all i do is sit in my room all day.my parents compare me to my sibs and i can never be good enough.kristine is my dads favorite,gretchen is my moms favorite,and everyone reminds me im not as smart as my brother matt.i never understand when i supposedly do something wrong and my parents think im lying about that.i also have autism so im a freak and a reject.

I SUCK AT EVERYTHING.im on my school speech team and im the worst person on the team.no matter how hard i try i dont stand out compared to other ppl at meets.i used to write poems but i have NO imagination and im bored with my writing style.im not athletic or musically talented like the popular kids.i was left out of mock trial bc nobody told me when practice was and no one cared tht i wasnt there.ppl ignored me there.it was an excuse for me to get stuff from the vending machine, watch practice and pretend i had a life.

i've been a Christian for 4 years so far but i just dont see any joy in that anymore.God doesnt want me to be happy.all he cares about is that im more like him.i've been trying to spend more time with him but he wont stop ignoring me when i need him.i also feel like God is stalking me and hes with me WAYYY too often.its creepy and kinda complicated, i know.i dont blame you if ur confused.its like hes with me all the time EXCEPT when i need him.sometimes i feel like God tries to control, manipulate,or sometimes make fun of me.since he loves everyone, i'm not special, im just 1 in 7 billion people,not counting everyone whos dead.i need someone to show me favoritism cuz nobody treats me like im special.God can't satisfy my emotional or social needs.i thought he wanted to do something to help me like give me more friends.

Thanks for reading my life's story. I know it's long and full of spelling/grammar errors but I didn't think all this stuff would fit. I guess I'm looking for sympathy more than answers. Nobody agrees with me, so it would mean a lot to me if you would. **I'M NOT SUICIDAL.I've been there, and I don

i have thick, wavy hair and i've tried everything. i use herbal essences touchably smooth shampoo and conditioner. i've tried the touchably smooth styling products and they suck. i also use aussie 3-minute miracle deep conditioner and paul mitchell mousse. sometimes i use a hot oil treatment.

i'm shy at school bc ppl r fake and they dont like me. when i talk to ppl, they're obviously not interested. its summer vacation between my sophomore and junior years in hs so everyone already knows each other (i'm not new to my school). i was extremely shy in middle school and i still don't know anything about life.i'm less shy now like i wear makeup and try to dress like everyone else.nobody notices me and i only had 1 bf but haven't kissed anyone either. i'm really ugly compared to other ppl at school. pic:

https://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?fbid=3228916...

i joined clubs and reach out to other ppl there but no one talks to me:( every day i walk the halls alone, being sad and wondering when i went wrong with life(i'm NOT suicidal or emo though) i'm ignored or made fun of by everyone.i talked to the principal, guidance counselor, and a couple of my favorite teachers but they didn't help. when i talk to the principal or guidance counselor, they completely ignore me and act like they didn't when they can tell i'm feeling ignored.my school's anti-bullying program is a load of bullcrap(pun intended lol) bc it doesnt work and everyone agrees its a waste of the school's time and money.everyone knows telling ur parents makes it A LOT worse. i have no school spirit bc my school sucks and ppl r so stupid and fake that its actually funny.i'm not judging ppl at my school bc i know them and high school is about being fake so ppl like u anyway. **DON'T say "u have 2 years left & things might change" bc its not like someone is a dork &they're automatically cool in 2 years. also dont say "being cool is overrated" bc nobody really thinks tht when theyre a teen. also dont say "it'll b vetter in college" bc thts not helping things get better now.

my sister is 15 not a little kid and she tells my mom and friends everything i do.i think shes way too old to do this.my family is really unsupportive, conservative, and my dad is the only person in my fam that ever agrees with me, but not all the time.this started when this guy at my school who is obviously the fakest most snobby person who ever lived talked to me and i politely told him to go away.then she told my mom and one of my friends that i was bullying him and i got in a lot of trouble when i got home.

my family also thinks im the most inappropriate, irresponsible person they know.my mom threatened to take away my facebook account and the door to my room because i calmly explained my side of the story.she also is really uncooperative when we argue.she literally says things to intentionally make me mad, and she thinks i disobey her on purpose and that im a rebel.i actually obey the rules at school, church,etc and i dont swear or anything.this happens every time we argue and she literally walks away when we talk.she doesnt know the diff between avoiding conflict and ignoring someone.

i also got in a huge fight with this girl in lit class yesterday.she thinks she knows my reasons for doing or saying what i do.we were doing a group assignment and there were a couple other girls in the group and everyone ganged up on me.anyway she thinks im the most insecure person she knows.we always fight like this and i explained to her how fake other people at school are.

anyway this made me feel even worse when i got home.then my mom started yelling at me and said things to purposely make me mad like she always does. i swear i wont apoloxise first to any of these people b/c they affirm the fact that im always wrong. sometimes i think i should talk to my family as less often as possible.

Questions.

Flooding the world, surrounding it,

Shrouding it with uncertainty.

Life is a locksmith’s office.

With locks upon locks

Where is the key?

Mysteries.

Locking us in

With no way out.

Here we are as people

Trying to find a way out,

Getting closer every day.

my profile pic on here is from facebook.i thought it would b fun 2 take pics of myself without my glasses.i wear them all the time.i look for kind of unique looking glasses so theyre black with blue swirled in and thick rectangular frames.people tell me they look good on me but some ppl say i should get contacts.

be honest: am i pretty?im on my school's speech team and i would use that as my talent.im kind of a girly girl and ive always wanted to do something like that but my family doesnt support that.

I havent been spending enough time with him so I lost him. God was my bff and I cant live a second without him. The reasons why I didnt spend time with him are feelings of fear, anxiety, and isolation due to this movie I saw awhile ago. Every time I try to get close to God,something goes wrong. *Only Christians answer this please*