widowmaker157

Tom retired in his early 50's and started a second career. However, even though he loved his new job, he just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day, he was 5, 10, sometimes 15 minutes late.

But he was a good worker and really sharp, so his boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, one day, his boss called him into the office for a talk.

'Tom, I must tell you, I truly like your work ethic; you do a bang-up job. But your being late for work nearly every day is quite annoying to me as well as to your fellow workers.'

'Yes, sir,' Tom replied, 'I know. I'm truly sorry, and I am working on it.'

'That's what I like to hear,' his boss said. 'However, the fact that you consistently come to work late does puzzle me, because I understand that you retired from the United States Air Force, and they have some pretty rigid rules about tardiness. Isn't that correct?'

'Yes, sir, I did retire from the Air Force, and I'm mighty proud of it,' said Tom.

'Well, what did they say when you came in late?' asked his boss.

'They said, 'Good morning, General'

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam..

'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here

tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal

injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it,

no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-*** guy in the back of the

room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow

I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is

restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head

and sweetly says, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with

your other hand.'

(HOW ABOUT A STAR?)

DEER MEAT

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.

Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.

The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.

"Well," he said, " It's what mommy calls me sometimes."

The little girl screams to her brother,

"Don't eat it, it's an asshole!"

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.

Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.

The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.

"Well," he said, " It's what mommy calls me sometimes."

The little girl screams to her brother,

"Don't eat it, it's an asshole!"

who has no chance at being free, unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself." T or F

If I feel a Question is really stupid, I'll give it a stupid answer, do you agree with me or not?