Chicklet

My daughter didn't graduate high school, in part due to failing a semester of classes due to surgery. She talked back some, in part because I encourage thinking for yourself and would explain why I made rules. She moved out at 18, which I talked about waiting being better but her decision. She has flourished. Pays her bills, never borrowed $, no debt, cooks mostly healthy meals from scratch, exercises. budgets well, shops wisely, respectful, kind, compassionate, plans for future schooling, good relationship with boyfriend. I see this as because I taught independence, responsibility, budgeting, good character, etc. Someone heavily implied she is doing better now that she's on her own because I'm a bad mom.

She told him she won't move to his state if I'm in his life. Then said she hopes she won't lose her son. His adult children expect her to move in with him. She is at risk living alone and likely has less than a year to live. He expects if she knows we are together she will be hurt and his adult children will blame him, and they are the sort who probably will. He wants his mom to be happy.

. How would you react if your boyfriend made this choice? How would you react if that were your mother and children?

Boyfriend of 3 years and I talked about things we need to improve. He said he needs time to think but he is leaning towards us staying together. I suggested we not get together last weekend to give him time. It's been a week and he hasn't contacted me. It seems to me if he took time to think he would be done by now. Would it be bad to show up and talk to him?

My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years is a widower. His wife died Christmas morning 4 years ago.

His 3 adult children all owe him $, family has been awful to him in the last year. He's been thinking of not spending Christmas with them. Understandable.

Today he said he's thinking of going to another state by himself for Christmas.

"You don't want to spend Christmas with me?"

. "It's not you, it's me."

I get this is a painful time of year for him.

If his family was treating him better he wouldn't be considering taking off.

I'm not being awful, causing problems; I've been kind and supportive.

I'm not a factor. My feelings aren't worth considering.

I'm very hurt.

. I matter too.

My boyfriend and I began dating a year and a half after his wife died. We have been together over 2 years. Mostly things have been great...except for certain family members of his intentionally trying to cause problems. All his kids are adults.

This is done behind my back so I don't get an opportunity to defend myself.

. The claim is that I'm using him, though I never have as he has tried to explain to them. To be very clear, I have never used him at all, for anything. Or anyone else - I'm not that type of person.

. I am not welcome to family gatherings.

. His daughter in law who doesn't like him has used this as an opportunity.. She recently escalated this to not wanting me around the grandkids at all.

I have spent less than 15 minutes with her, she has never seen me interact with my kids. The interactions with her kids have been singing, kind conversation, hugs, holding a hand so they don't fall. I have never been abusive to any child or accused of it.

Those kids love me. I'm so sad.

. He told me no one will talk to me because no one likes me. He also said that it isn't my fault and there is nothing either of us can do about it.

We are taking a break as he reconsiders because he doesn't want to split his time between me and his family. I have never asked him to choose.

. I'm very heartbroken. If anyone has any ideas please share.

I can type in the box under the questions, but I can't find a submit button anywhere on the page. This was for an open question and I was logged in. I tried refreshing the page and still can see where to click to send in the answer. The help section didn't tell how either.