Kristin R

My husband & I are having my parents first grandchild in 3 weeks. They were so excited when we told them. Then at Christmas my bipolar father was off his meds and became abusive throwing us out of his home bc of his delusions, etc He sent horrible texts to me for the next 3 days-I never responded. Since then there have been no attempts from him to contact me other than one text that told me to forget about it. My mother has always enabled him & made excuses for him. I said I do not want him near me or the baby until he is in counseling, on medication, and acknowledges his behavior that's lasted 28+ yrs of my life. My mom is now making lots of passive aggressive comments trying to get me to give in and make amends with him so that he can see the baby. I will not budge on my child's safety around this abusive man. My husband supports my decision. My mother & I have been in many arguments over this. She insists she will not stop filling my dad in on my life and pregnancy-I have asked her to stop. She insists when the baby comes she will give my dad information and pictures-as she thinks this is her right. Her lack of care or concern for my feelings for my child leave me furious. My mom was to come down (we live 5hrs away) when I went into labor and stay about a week to help out. I'm so hurt & nervous how it will go I am thinking of changing plans and having her come when the baby is older-I worry I will regret this-I want my mom but this situation is so hard.

My father is bipolar and abusive my whole life (cheated on my mother and moved in and out of the home a lot). Recently I have cut off the relationship with my dad after an especially painful blow up he had on me during Christmas Eve when he was off his medication and ended up throwing me (pregnant with his first grandchild) and my husband, sister, and her boyfriend from my parents home. My mom is an abused woman who does not stand up and stays with him no matter what. Now both my parents say they are going to counseling in hopes of improving our relationship and also in hopes I will allow my dad around the baby when he is born. They have done counseling before and they always revert back to the same abusive horrible scenes. I feel sick thinking of my child around the same situation I grew up in. My wonderful husband is the total opposite of my father, I so badly want to break this cycle and not repeat. I want to maintain a relationship with my mother (even though she enables my dad and is in denial about how her passive behavior contributed to some of the horrible situations) but I am not sure how to keep her in my life because she tells my dad everything. I do not want him knowing about my life or my baby. My mom has also been dropping hints he has 'changed'. She does this after most of his episodes and the change is very short lived. This situation has me feeling pretty depressed daily.

Growing up my bipolar father was verbally and mentally abusive to our whole family-worse when he wasn't taking his medication properly. He had numerous affairs and moved in and out. My mother stays with him bc she made a vow. Many times my father will become enraged and say he wants nothing to do with me or my sister. Then after a few weeks pass he acts like nothing happened. On Christmas Eve he had a blow up and kicked my husband and I out of their house at night. He wasn't in his right mind again bc he hadn't been taking his medication. He then sent hateful texts for days. My mom apologizes but she isn't strong enough to stand up. I am halfway through my first pregnancy with his first grandson. I cannot imagine my son ever witnessing such fits. I had to go to therapy for years to move past the years of emotional beat down. I feel like I am the bad guy saying I don't want him in my life or my sons. My husband supports me. Is there any other way? I hate this.

I have a friend due 4 weeks before I am and she is in constant competition with me and other friends. She wants to know intimate details from how much weight I have gained, symptoms etc. At first it seemed like she was a fun pregnant pal and someone I could confide in but lately I have noticed how every thing I do share with her is either told to other friends behind my back or she has to one up the story I shared with how her pregnancy is further along, easier, or better some how. She is driving me crazy and I have stopped telling her much. She lately has been trying to get details about the shower my Aunt in throwing me, I know it's because she has her shower first and she doesn't want to be out down later by mine. I do not care to compete. I am thrilled to have this baby. I just don't want this competition to continue once our babies arrive. (I mean seriously her baby will be a month older than mine it will of course do things 'first'-I don't want my child put down for being younger)

Just wanted some opinions of other parents out there?

My former college roommate (who I am still close with) has a 2 year old son with her husband. My husband and I are expecting our 1st child, and we tried a long time to get pregnant. My former roommate responded to the news with 'congrats'. That has been all she has said. She has known for 3 months now and said nothing else. She hasn't asked me any questions. A mutual friend of ours just announced her pregnancy and my college roommate has given her a much warmer welcome. I found out through facebook she sent her flowers & a card when she heard the news. (I got nothing but a 'congrats') Then I got an email the other day from my college roommate that included other friends asking about if we all wanted to get together to 'plan' a shower for the other pregnant friend. I was shocked-I don't mean to make things about me but I am pregnant too and she isn't offering to throw me a shower. I know she has made the pregnant friend aware of the fact she would like to plan her shower. So I know she isn't trying to secretly plan anything for me as a surprise. When speaking to our mutual pregnant friend she told me how happy my roommate has been for her and how supportive. Offering her books on pregnancy, etc. I haven't even been asked anything. I feel very hurt like my pregnancy is less exciting. Another friend of ours told me my roommate and her husband were trying to conceive and my news took her by surprise. I never knew she was trying. I want things to be less awkward and I want to feel like she is being fair to both friends but I don't see how that can happen. I feel so left out. All of my other friends have responded so excitedly and want to be very involved. All my other friends ask me lots of questions. I just don't know why she is happy for one friend and not me.

I told a few close friends my husband and I were expecting our first born and everyone was thrilled. A few weeks later my friend Ashley came to visit for the weekend with her husband and another couple who we are friends with. While she was hear she announced to everyone she was also pregnant. We were all very happy for her and I was excited to have a fellow pregnant friend to share the experience of pregnancy 'with' even though we live in different states. An issue has now began where any comment I make about my pregnancy is turned in to a competition by Ashley. She is 4 weeks further along than me so she felt the baby move before I did. She has had 1 more ultra sound than I have so far. I feel like every time I comment something positive or 'good news' she has an 'already been there done that not interested in your good news comment' for me. When she gives me news I say positive things and try hard not mention my pregnancy to 'take away' from her news at the time. It is just hard because it gets old and I fear it will only increase when the baby is here. The most offensive thing that has happened to me so far is hearing from a mutual friend that Ashley was 'bad mouthing' me for giving up my career to become a stay at home mom. This is something I have wanted my whole life. I loved my career and will stay up to date on my license so I can return down the road. I do not comment on her decision to put her child in day care. That is her choice and she knows what is best for her family. I am just hurt she has said negative things about me being a stay at home mom. Including: 'I don't know what she will do all day' 'I would get so bored sitting around' 'Must be nice to live off your husband'. The comment about living off my husband was the most hurtful because we have saved and planned for this since we got married and I also have a hobby/side job that I do for extra cash in my free time. I just feel like I am unable to talk to the person who was going to be my 'pregnancy pal' because giving her information makes her judge me to other friends. I want to ask her to respect my choices but I fear she just will never understand and will continue this behavior.

Background: My husband and I are expecting our first child in May. This will be the first grandchild on both sides. His mother is driving me crazy already. She asks lots of questions about how we will be raising the baby, usually texting or cornering me when my husband isn't in the room. She disagrees with most of the baby products I have said I want or will be registering for. She disagrees with my decision to breast feed. She disagrees with my decision to cloth diaper. The list goes on and on. She doesn't have 'boundaries'. She however is very excited and despite living either 14 or 19 hours from the baby (they are snow birds) she is hoping to visit a lot more than she used to and be apart of the baby's life. I am happy about this. I want my baby to see its grandmother. I worry because she stresses me out when she visits with her 'advice' and 'helpful hints'. I ask for none of this and she seems offended when my opinion is not changed by her arguments.

Recently: His parents came to visit for Thanksgiving and while they were here they looked at houses within 20 minutes of our home. They are considering moving to the state we live in, but never mentioned it until they were here. My husband and I were shocked and didn't know how we felt about that. They also are looking to buy a mini van because they feel they will need it when the baby comes. Most recently my husband's sister told me how my mother in law is feeling like she will be completely left out of everything with the baby.

I don't want to leave her out. I want them to visit. I do not know how I feel about them moving here. It could be bad or good. As far as the 'mom' mini van, I cannot dictate what car they buy but I do not feel it is necessary as we are getting one and there is not going to be a time when our child needs to be driven by my in laws so that just seemed odd to me. My child will not be 'staying' with my in laws or anyone without us at least until it is much older.

With this baby fever and feelings of being 'left out' already I can't help but think things will get worse. Do we discuss things now or wait until the baby is here and they move in next door?

My husband and I are expecting our first child in May. This will be the first grandchild for both sets of grandparents. The amount of excitement surrounding this baby is huge on both parts. Both sets of grandparents live in other states. My parents about 5 hours away and his are either 14 hours away or 19 hours away depending on which home of theirs they are at. (they are snow birds) Both of our parents are financially well off, both our mothers are extremely crafty (sewing, knitting, etc for the baby already) I am sensing 'competitive' vibes on both sides already and the baby isn't even here (more with my mom and mil) Both want to know when they can come after/during the birth, how long they can stay, etc. My husband and I had to turn down heirloom bassinets from both mothers because it would have caused conflict. My mom has made comments that she doesn't feel my mil will be very helpful after the baby is born because my mil didn't help with our wedding planning much (but both sets of parents made financial contributions). My Mil did make several comments during the wedding planning process and after that were negative but I ignored. My mom has warned me this is how she will behave about my parenting skills. I have no problem ignoring unwanted advice. My mil made a comment that she wont see the baby as much as my parents will (We told her there is no limit to how much we will allow her to visit-but as it is we only see them about 3 times a year) From comments both soon to be grandmothers have made they both assume they are going to be the 'top grandmother'. Both sets of grandmothers are sewing/knitting/shopping their little hearts out making things for the baby. From what has been discussed we are only moments away from a gift giving frenzy that is competitive in nature. I am worried that these 'competitive' comments and feelings will only increase between them once the baby comes and I don't want my child in the middle of such conflict. I want my baby to have a good relationship with both sets of grandparents, equally. Both sets of grandparents are beyond wonderful as parents/in laws and I know not every child gets to have involved grandparents and I know mine will and I feel so blessed for that fact. I just do not know how to approach the subject with either family. I don't want it to be a competition or a jealousy thing. I also do not want my baby to be in a tug of war. If I go with my gut instinct the competitiveness is only going to increase unless something is said. How do my husband and I handle this?

My friend (former roommate back when I was in college) is upset with me that my husband and I are expecting our first child. I had to find this out from another friend.

When I told former roomie she said "congrats" that is all, and changed the subject. I found the reaction odd. Then our mutual friend told me I had offended former roomie because her and her husband are 'trying to conceive'. I had no idea they were trying. They already have a two year old son together.

My former roomie was supposed to travel to see me in two weeks. (I live about 5 hrs away) I just found out that she 'may have to work'. (I do not know if this is because she now doesn't want to be around me) I don't want this to ruin our friendship. I was thinking of confronting the issue and telling her I really had no idea of their situation and I am sorry if it hurt her feelings.

My friend who told me the information thinks she doesn't want me to know she was trying to conceive so I could make things worse by bringing that up.

I just don't want to make an awkward situation go worse? Advise on how to handle?

One of my best friends has been 'trying' to conceive with her husband for about 3 years now. Through extensive testing they have found out nothing to be wrong with her and he has a very low sperm count. IVF is their only option at this point, but they haven't started that. From the beginning I have been super supportive, and one of her only friends who knows what is going on. Listening to her disappointment month after month. I really feel for her. She has learned of several friends & family members pregnancies in the 3 years of trying and each announcement is met with more sadness than the last. It is to the point now that when the last announcement came (her sister in law) my friend was bitter, stopped communicating with that side of the family for a period of time and had crying break downs daily for the first 5 months of her sister in laws pregnancy. My friend ended up being involved in the baby shower (out of pressure from her mother in law) and it was extremely difficult for her. When the baby was born she visited the hospital and has only seen the baby one time since. She just says it is too hard.

I know other friends of ours who have gotten pregnant have hesitated and been nervous to tell her. She usually says she is happy for them but then there isn't much talking about the baby before or after the birth. So the situation becomes strained. I know it is difficult for her to handle being around pregnant women or new families.

To add more disappointment and hurt to her life, with in the past 6 months my friend confided in me that her husband had a drug addiction. She was planning to divorce him but has stayed and tried to help him over come this. Their relationship is very strained, their finances are not in the shape they once were and he hasn't fully been on board at times to get help. I am the only friend she has told about this.

Recently we were out to dinner with another friend of ours who was pregnant and so of course the topic of babies came up. My friend then says how her and her husband are thinking of doing IVF in October/November. I was shocked at this since they have so much going on with his drug addiction problems right now and I was under the impression finances are strained. I had just assumed that them trying for a baby was on hold until they would get him under control. I haven't heard anything about the IVF since the comment was made at dinner in July. So I am not sure if she just said that for the benefit of our pregnant friend or if it is going to happen. I usually do not ask her infertility questions, I just sit back and if she tells me things I listen.

My husband and I learned in September we are pregnant with our first child after nearly a year of trying. My friend knew we were trying and it wasn't happening quickly due to some problems on my end.

I am torn if I should tell her now or wait until the end of November when I tell the rest of my friends. I want to be sensitive since she has a very difficult situation on her hands in her personal life.

Part of me feels she will want to know right away and have more time to process and part of me is so nervous to tell her apart from the rest of the group of friends and single her out. I fear she will shut me out for months like she has others in the past. But I would understand if it was just too painful for her to deal with. I have been there myself. I just want to get it over with. We now live in different states and I do not have any plans to see her before the holidays so keeping it hidden isn't difficult if I start showing.

Should I tell her now or wait until after the first trimester when I tell the rest of my friends? What would be the best method to tell her? I have thought about an email because then she wouldn't feel pressure to react right away.

My husband and I recently moved to another state for his job promotion. I quit my career to start my own furniture restoration business on the side to allow me the flexible hours needed to be a stay at home mom in the future.We just started trying to conceive recently. I feel lonely and sad all day. We started attending church but I haven't made friends yet. The only person I know in town is the lady who owns the store I sell my furniture and crafts at and she is much older. I want to leave and go back to our old lives but I know that isn't possible. I cry a lot while he is at work and I feel bad telling him because he works so hard. I'm ashamed I'm not happy and I want so badly to be happy. I have had very dark thoughts lately and it is hard to get out of bed most days. My husband wants me to see a doctor but I'm too embarrassed and I know with me trying to get pregnant medication options will be limited so it seems pointless. I feel like I have everything I ever wanted but Im in a very dark place, I know I sound ungrateful but I'm not I'm thankful for what I have I am just sad on the inside and don't know how to get past it. I do want to be a mom its my dream but I'm beginning to wonder if that's a bad idea since I have some kind of mental issue happening. I literally have everything a supportive wonderful husband the man of my dreams, beautiful brand new home, cars, etc- How can I be this unhappy when i have everything? I don't know where to go from here.

My very good friend (a bridesmaid in our wedding) and her husband have been struggling with infertility for over 2 years. They recently experienced a financial blow as well so they have not begun the recommended fertility treatments due to the expense. My husband and I are now ready to start trying to conceive as well. Should I tell her we are now also trying or wait to say anything until we are actually pregnant? My fear is that if we become pregnant with out giving her a heads up she will feel out of the loop and mad. I also fear if I tell her we are now trying and it doesn't take very long she will be discouraged by the ease of it. If it does take us a long time as well to conceive I would like to have her to talk to. I am back and forth on this everyday-to tell her or not-and when. I feel worse that her fertility treatments have been pushed back due to finances. Please advise me. I just want to keep the friendship and not hurt her or her husband with any 'news' or lack there of.

I asked my mom over for Easter a week ago. She told me her and my dad had to work Saturday & Monday and so they wouldn't be able to make the drive down-and that they weren't going to even have Easter dinner at their house or at any close families they were laying low for the day-so I say ok we wont come up either if nothing is happening-no problem. (I live 5.5 hours away) Then I called my sister today to wish her Happy Easter and find out my parents drove to her house 2.5 hours from where they live-spent the night and are spending the day with her. She says it was last minute-I found out from my aunt (she also turned down my aunts Easter dinner invite) that my mom knew at least 4 days ago she was going to my sister's house for Easter. I didn't even talk to my sister about Easter plans because she is in college/strapped for cash and lives 6 hours from me-so I figured if mom wasn't having anything she would just spend the day with her boyfriends family, I just assumed. I wish my mom or sister would have told me the plans because my husband and I would have drove to my sister's and spent time with everyone. This isn't the first time my mom has left me out of things. She acts very nice and sweet to me to my face most of the time-but leaves me out-and denies it when I ask why-if she thinks I'm questioning her she plays 'victim' and acts like I'm being mean. She visits my sister's home more than double of what she visits mine-I know my sister lives closer but I am left always driving to see family when they never come to see me-we have a larger place with plenty of rooms to accomodate-and live in a very fun city with lots to do-when my parents come we do whatever they want to do and treat them like royalty-I just don't understand why the need to sneak around and leave me out. It is so hurtful. I asked my sister and she said it was a last minute plan and she didn't know mom didn't say anything about it-she is very honest unlike my mother so I don't think she tried to leave me out on purpose I think my sister honestly didn't know the plan. I don't know how to approach this because in the past when I ask my mother why she did or didn't do something hurtful to me she twists my words and somehow I become the bad guy-I don't want to keep repeating that scenario. What should I do? Opinions?

Here is the story:

We were best friends since the beginning of High School, known each other our whole lives before that. We have been through a lot in the 8 years we have been 'best friends'. We have always turned to each other to cry over break ups, family issues, and day to day struggles. We talk almost everyday (either by phone, text, or email). He was in the Army and went on leave 3 times (twice to Iraq and once to Germany) all the while I was in college/grad school. We still hand wrote letters, sent packages, had phone calls, emails, ect. Everytime we could visit we did. I even went out to Arizona to stay for a couple weeks when he was in flight school out there. We have never crossed the line as 'friends'. I have wondered many times over the years what would happen if we were together. I slowly have found myself in love with my best friend in the whole world. The person I can tell anything to, the person I call when things are horrible and he reminds me how amazingly smart and adorable I am. He is the person who tells me the perfect thing at the perfect time, he isn't afraid to hurt my feelings with the truth and he isnt afraid to show me his sensative side. I recently broke up with my boyfriend and found myself once again asking why I bother with all of these guys who I know do not make me feel like him. He is 'talking' to a new girl right now, and has been on a few dates. I made the decision to tell him my feelings because I have regretted not telling him for years. He said he has felt the same way off and on throughout the years. Things are complicated in his mind because I just came out of a relationship, he is just starting one, and I am living 4 hrs away for the next yr (then Ill be moving back to where he is). I told him I didnt need any kind of response right away, just to think things over. He told me no matter what he wanted me to know that we will always be there for each other and best friends, I know that is true. I am really lost right now. What do I do now? I just told him last night. Haven't talked to him today. I know I have less to offer than the other girl who lives close to him. I am off every other weekend. I feel like it could work for the next year because how how connected we have always remained over the years of military leaves, college, and everything else that has happened. I need the opinions of others! HELP!

Here is the story:

We were best friends since the beginning of High School, known each other our whole lives before that. We have been through a lot in the 8 years we have been 'best friends'. We have always turned to each other to cry over break ups, family issues, and day to day struggles. We talk almost everyday (either by phone, text, or email). He was in the Army and went on leave 3 times (twice to Iraq and once to Germany) all the while I was in college/grad school. We still hand wrote letters, sent packages, had phone calls, emails, ect. Everytime we could visit we did. I even went out to Arizona to stay for a couple weeks when he was in flight school out there. We have never crossed the line as 'friends'. I have wondered many times over the years what would happen if we were together. I slowly have found myself in love with my best friend in the whole world. The person I can tell anything to, the person I call when things are horrible and he reminds me how amazingly smart and adorable I am. He is the person who tells me the perfect thing at the perfect time, he isn't afraid to hurt my feelings with the truth and he isnt afraid to show me his sensative side. I recently broke up with my boyfriend and found myself once again asking why I bother with all of these guys who I know do not make me feel like him. He is 'talking' to a new girl right now, and has been on a few dates. I made the decision to tell him my feelings because I have regretted not telling him for years. He said he has felt the same way off and on throughout the years. Things are complicated in his mind because I just came out of a relationship, he is just starting one, and I am living 4 hrs away for the next yr (then Ill be moving back to where he is). I told him I didnt need any kind of response right away, just to think things over. He told me no matter what he wanted me to know that we will always be there for each other and best friends, I know that is true. I am really lost right now. What do I do now? I just told him last night. Haven't talked to him today. I know I have less to offer than the other girl who lives close to him. I am off every other weekend. I feel like it could work for the next year because how how connected we have always remained over the years of military leaves, college, and everything else that has happened. I need the opinions of others! HELP!

Here is the story:

We were best friends since the beginning of High School, known each other our whole lives before that. We have been through a lot in the 8 years we have been 'best friends'. We have always turned to each other to cry over break ups, family issues, and day to day struggles. We talk almost everyday (either by phone, text, or email). He was in the Army and went on leave 3 times (twice to Iraq and once to Germany) all the while I was in college/grad school. We still hand wrote letters, sent packages, had phone calls, emails, ect. Everytime we could visit we did. I even went out to Arizona to stay for a couple weeks when he was in flight school out there. We have never crossed the line as 'friends'. I have wondered many times over the years what would happen if we were together. I slowly have found myself in love with my best friend in the whole world. The person I can tell anything to, the person I call when things are horrible and he reminds me how amazingly smart and adorable I am. He is the person who tells me the perfect thing at the perfect time, he isn't afraid to hurt my feelings with the truth and he isnt afraid to show me his sensative side. I recently broke up with my boyfriend and found myself once again asking why I bother with all of these guys who I know do not make me feel like him. He is 'talking' to a new girl right now, and has been on a few dates. I made the decision to tell him my feelings because I have regretted not telling him for years. He said he has felt the same way off and on throughout the years. Things are complicated in his mind because I just came out of a relationship, he is just starting one, and I am living 4 hrs away for the next yr (then Ill be moving back to where he is). I told him I didnt need any kind of response right away, just to think things over. He told me no matter what he wanted me to know that we will always be there for each other and best friends, I know that is true. I am really lost right now. What do I do now? I just told him last night. Haven't talked to him today. I know I have less to offer than the other girl who lives close to him. I am off every other weekend. I feel like it could work for the next year because how how connected we have always remained over the years of military leaves, college, and everything else that has happened. I need the opinions of others! HELP!

I would like to put together a charity organization in my area that will collect flowers and vases from funerals, weddings, and flowers shops (just left over flowers) and make them into arrangements for hospice patients. (or any healthcare facility.

I have a BA in Biology. I am looking for a part time job in Jeffersonville Indiana while I attend Mortuary School there. Does anyone know of any jobs available there?

Can someone give me a good site to go to for information on internal melanoma originating in the female urethra of a 65 year old woman. I need to get more information on internal melanoma and treatments due to a family members diagnosis. What are some sites that have this rare information?